Su Kaolla  With a license to thrill
by Hawk
Summary: The Crimson Moon is about to appear and the time for Kaolla's change is imminent. Amalla remembers about it in time and Kaolla is called back home. Worried that she might be bored, Kaolla ask Keitaro to acompany her, causing all kinds of havoc!
1. One

Su Kaolla - With a license to thrill 

Su Kaolla - With a license to thrill[PG-13]  
Niklas "Hawk" Jonsson  
  


Summary: The Crimson Moon is about to appear and the time for Kaolla's change is imminent. Amalla remembers about it in time and Kaolla is called back home, to ensure that the foreigners she's living about doesn't find out about her condition. However, Kaolla believes that she might be bored without her usual playmates around and thus arranges for Keitaro to go to Molmol with her, which causes all kinds of havoc!  
  
Disclaimer: Love Hina, Hinata Sou and whatnot are not mine, though I certainly wish they were. The story is mine though, all mine.  
  
Feedback/Flames: Yes, please. Both of them are equally fun to read, although I must admit that I greatly prefer the first variety. :)  
I can be found on ICQ as 21771860 or through e-mail as , more stories are available at my nifty lil' site at or by clicking on my handle up above.  
  
"speech"  
emphasis/shouts/Kindred Domination/post-hypnotic triggers  
/thoughts/  
/telepathy/  
translation  
soundeffect/radio/telephone conversation/TV  
  


Ranting and ravings from the perverted one 

  
  
This right here, is the Keitaro/Su-matchup I've been promising people since... Like... Forever... At least it certainly feels like that. :) Chapters 1 and 2 have been finished for quite some time, but I've been unable to get started on 3 for the longest time now. But lo and behold, a week ago, the nasty case of writers block that has plagued this fic for almost a year now, suddenly buggered off and paragraph after paragraph practically wrote themselves.  
  
I'm guessing I'm somewhere around chapter 6 or 7 by now, which is quite the accomplishment for a week of me writing in whatever spare time I manage to liberate from work, family, friends and life as a deviant pervert. While I usually do tend to write about the same amount of text as I have during this week, whenever I have time to spare for writing anything. I don't think it has ever happened that my sole writing efforts for an entire week have been devoted to one single fic. Usually, my attention for a week is split somewhere between 15-25 different fics. Which means that there's almost always progress on all my stories, even if it's not much being written on any one single fic. :)  
  
Now this fic is based on the sort of idea that'll creep into my head after watching a 007-marathon late at night while drinking whisky, pondering the fact that Su would make an awesome Q...  
  
So, fasten your seatbelts boys and girls, because now it's time for Love Hina to go 007, Hawk-style! Romance, intrigue, slutty women making advances at the hero, action, the slutty hero making advances at women ( Though this one took some doing before I came up with a semi-somewhat-almost-plausible reason for it, lemme tell ya! ), betrayal, lots of guns, humor, weird devices, people being nekkid, explosions, exotic locations and the hero smooching away with a girl at the end.  
  
And Agent Su, please do try and bring the car back in one piece this time?  
  


The perverted one shuts up due to distractions caused by re-runs of GTO 

  
  


* * *

  
  


Chapter One:

  
  
"Oi, Keitaro!" came the cheerful greeting from the Hinata Sou's most energetic resident, causing Keitaro to turn away from his work on the stubborn burner, in order to direct a friendly smile at Su Kaolla.  
  
"Hey, Kaolla." he greeted her, wiping some sweat off his forehead. "What's up?" he inquired, wondering just why she wasn't climbing all over him, kicking him or doing any of the usual sort of things she did whenever she greeted him otherwise. /Danger, danger, Urashima Keitaro!/ his subconscious screamed at him.  
  
"I wuz wonderin' if you could do me a tinzy-winzy itty-bitty lil' favor, Keitaro!" she exclaimed and smiled at him.  
  
/Aha. More 'tests'./ Keitaro reasoned, swallowing nervously as he recalled a recent incident involving field-testing of a portable laser cannon, that had nearly scared him half to death. He still had a mark on his lower back from that one.  
  
"Uh... What sort of favor, Su?" he inquired suspiciously.  
  
"I haffta go back to Molmol for two days. I want you to come along to keep me company and play with me!" she happily replied.  
  
"Ah... Well..." Keitaro said. While there certainly wasn't anything really urgent he had to do, other then study and fix the burner, he wasn't all that sure that he wanted to go gallivanting off to some foreign country. And he knew for very certain that there was no way he could afford it either, as Kitsune had managed to swipe his wallet and buy Sake for all his spare money. She had, thoughtfully enough, left the money he needed to buy supplies and a new dictionary, but now he didn't have a single yen to spare and two whole weeks left of the month.  
  
Besides, he still wasn't completely sure that this wasn't just some ruse to pull him into some sort of dangerous test.  
  
"I'm sorry, Su. But Kitsune swiped all of my spending cash. I can't afford to travel anywhere." Keitaro apologized.  
  
"Is that all? No problem. A private jet is taking us both there and back, so you don't have to buy any tickets. We'll be staying and eating with my family during our stay, so no worries there either." Su countered. "Please, Keitaro? If I don't have anyone to play with, I'll be bored!" she added and gazed pleadingly at Keitaro, her eyes huge and with moisture creeping up in the corners of them.  
  
/Danger! Danger! Cuteness levels abnormal! Mental faculties overwhelmed and willpower lessening fast!/ his subconscious screamed at him.  
  
"Well, if you're sure that it'll be all right with your family for me to stay with you..." Keitaro said uncertainly.  
  
"Of course! My mommies were really enthusiastic about it and I'm sure that my siblings really want to meet you too." Su replied with a happy grin. "Thank you, Keitaro!" she exclaimed and then leapt at him, slamming into his torso, wrapping her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck. "We'll have so much fun together!" she enthused and affectionately rubbed her cheek against his.  
  
/Pushover.../ his subconscious grumbled at him, as Keitaro started to draw up a mental list regarding what to pack in preparation for the journey. To say nothing of just how he would manage to survive telling the other girls that he was going to travel with Kaolla, alone. He swallowed nervously, already feeling how the chances of getting injured were increasing by the second.  
  


* * *

  
  
"'RMMA, Air Force Two'?" Keitaro quoted off the jet's print on the side, scratching his head in confusion.  
  
It turned out that he needn't have worried about telling anyone just yet, as they had been forced to head to the airport pretty much instantly. He only just had time to finish his work on the burner, wash off, hastily throw some clothes and a few books into a bag, then they were bound for the airport in a taxi. He absently hoped that the girls wouldn't get too mad once they discovered the notes he and Su had left for them.  
  
Though he knew that it was little chance of that hope to ever become realized in reality.  
  
He didn't at all look forward to the beating he would most likely receive when they returned.  
  
"Royal MolMol Air, the Princess Jet." Kaolla explained, riding on Keitaro's shoulders as they headed for the plane.  
  
"Royal? The Princess Jet?" Keitaro repeated.  
  
"It's once of the five that belongs to the royal family of Molmol." Kaolla flippantly commented. "There's one for the king and queens, one for the princesses, one for the prince and two for the various royal attendants."  
  
"Uh... Kaolla? Why are we going to travel in a royal jet?" Keitaro nervously asked, staring in awe at the shiny jet.  
  
"Because it's comfy!" Kaolla said as if it was the most natural thing in the world.  
  
"We... Uh... Won't get in trouble for this?" Keitaro wondered, sweating a bit as he slowly made his way up the stairs, heading for the very intimidating piloty-looking man who was standing at the top, a large revolver in a holster clearly visible on his right hip. Keitaro absently noted the three eyes Su usually put somewhere on her designs were emblazoned on his dark blue uniform as well as on his headwear.  
  
"Greetings, your Royal Highness!" the man exclaimed, saluting as Keitaro set his foot on the platform outside the entrance to the plane. "Captain Nu Kaworo, at your service!"  
  
"Roger!" Kaolla responded, saluting the man in turn. "Are we ready for take-off?" she asked, leaning forward and resting her elbows on top of Keitaro's head.  
  
"Indeed, your Royal Highness. As soon as you and your guest are seated, we'll begin our take-off procedures." Captain Nu answered.  
  
"Roger! Keitaro, forward!" Kaolla responded, nudging Keitaro into motion by pressing her heels into his ribs.  
  
Keitaro's eyes bulged as he saw the interior of the plane. He'd flown before, but never quite like this. The interior was red velvet, the seats looked more like turnable love-seats then air-plane chairs, there was plenty of space all around, real tables between rows, a wide aisle and not even Su on his shoulders was able to quite reach the roof from where she was sitting. Everything was speckless, clean and polished to perfection, three stewardesses were standing at attention, saluting him and Kaolla as they entered.  
  
Keitaro stumbled forward in a daze, hardly noticing as two stewardesses liberated him from his bag and Kaolla's suitcase, taking them further back in the plane as the remaining one directed him to a seat. Kaolla vaulted off his shoulders, landing on her chosen seat with immaculate accuracy and Keitaro dazedly seated himself next to her, allowing the stewardess to fasten their seatbelts.  
  
"Do you and your guest require any refreshments, your Royal Highness?" she inquired.  
  
"A Kaolla Split for me." Kaolla replied with a wide grin, glancing over at Keitaro by her side. "Do you want anything, Keitaro?"  
  
"Uuuuuh..." was all that Keitaro was capable of uttering at the moment.  
  
"A Kaolla Split for Keitaro as well." Kaolla told the stewardess, then she leaned back in her seat and snuggled up against Keitaro, resting her head against his shoulder and taking possession of one of his arms, hugging it close to her body.  
  
"Of course, your royal highness." was the servile response, then the stewardess made her way to the back of the plane.  
  
"Uh... Kaolla?" Keitaro inquired.  
  
"Hmmm?" Kaolla replied.  
  
"What's with all this 'your Royal Highness'-stuff?" he asked, fearing the answer.  
  
"I'm the Crown Princess of Molmol." Kaolla replied unconcernedly. "I've got both an older brother and an older sister. Well, older sister and older cousin actually, but we were raised as siblings. But I passed the Rite of Ascension before either one of them did, so I'll get the crown." she announced smugly, nuzzling her cheek against him and causing Keitaro to suffer from a temporary mental blackout as his mind failed to really process this information.  
  
"Oh." was all he said, staring vapidly at the air in front of his nose as his mind attempted to stomach the information it had been given, before finally deciding to toss everything about Kaolla being royalty out in order to get the system running again.  
  
Apparently having anticipated Kaolla's request, the stewardess returned then, carrying two bowls containing what was with all likelihood, the Kaolla Splits.  
  
Keitaro had never seen such a thing before and could only stare at it in complete and utter amazement.  
  
There were bananas, of course. There was ice cream. There was whipped cream. There were marshmallows. There was fudge. There were at least three differently flavored sauces. There were strawberries. There was creamy milky-brown chocolate. There was white chocolate and there were a dozen spoon-shaped crackers sticking decoratively out of the amazing creation.  
  
"Thank you!" Kaolla enthused and sat up straight, grabbing the bowl and transferring it to her lap, as the engines started to rumble and the plane started to move. Keitaro hesitantly reached out to his bowl and attempted to move it, only to have to exert more force then expected to do so. He lifted it and peered underneath, spotting a magnetic plate stuck to the bottom of the bowl, which ensured that the bowl wouldn't easily move off the table during times of turbulence.  
  
It was the longest flight he'd ever been on, but he hardly noticed it. He and Kaolla watched a movie, played video games on the big screen and were fussed over by the three friendly, though incredibly formal, stewardesses and chatted with each other.  
  
All in all, it was the most pleasant flight Keitaro had ever undertaken.  
  


* * *

  
  
Of course, all good things have to come to an end and they eventually landed in Molmol.  
  
They were picked up at the airport by a fancy limousine and driven to the royal palace under military escort, at which point Keitaro's subconscious started to try and remind him of the fact that he was travelling with a princess. Of course, it failed to do so and thus, he turned to Kaolla again.  
  
"Uh, Kaolla? This is a palace. Why are we stopping at a palace? Do your parents work here?" he inquired nervously.  
  
"I'm the Crown Princess of Molmol, remember?" Kaolla gently reminded him with a teasing smile as the limo came to a stop and the uniformed driver jumped out in order to open the door for them.  
  
"Oh..." Keitaro commented in a muted tone of voice, as Kaolla nudged him to get moving. He walked out of the limousine and was greeted with the sight of the royal palace and a royal reception. He looked around and spotted a huge crowd of people outside the palace gates. Then Kaolla clambered out of the car and jumped up onto his shoulders, reclaiming her favorite spot.  
  
"Hello, everybody! I'm back!" she shouted and Keitaro was nearly thrown off his feet by the answering roar. The crowd outside the palace was cheering, whooping and shouting Kaolla's name at the top of their lungs. Most of the people in the reception party, were saluting and cheering as well. A small group of people did not, however and Keitaro's gaze went to them, as a shiver traveled up his spine.  
  
The first one was standing ahead of everyone else, a tall tanned man in elaborate stately robes and with a sparkling crown perched on top of his head, in a somewhat lopsided manner. From one corner of his mouth, hung a smoking cigar, his face was unshaven and his posture relaxed into a comfortable slump. He looked severely out of place, more like a lazy bum dressed up in finery, then the king of a country.  
  
Somewhat to his right and half a step behind him, stood a regal looking tanned woman, blonde hair flowing down from her head, the silky strands of hair nearly reaching her own knees. Her white and brown robes were embroidered and emblazoned on her torso, were once again, the three eyes. She was wearing a sparkling crown which was immaculately placed on top of her head.  
  
Somewhat to the kings left and half a step behind him, stood another regal looking tanned woman, light brown wavy hair reaching down to her waist. She was also wearing a crown and was dressed in brown and white robes, emblazoned with the three eyes. The robes were slitted all around, revealing quite a lot of her perfectly proportioned body and causing Keitaro to feel somewhat faint.  
  
A young man and a young woman were standing behind them. The man was wearing a western-style suit and Keitaro gasped as he noticed the stunning resemblance between himself and the stranger. Except for the color of their skin and hair, they looked almost identical to each other. The woman wore an elaborate gown and the resemblance to Kaolla was remarkable, it couldn't be anyone else then the older sister Kaolla had mentioned earlier.  
  
Surrounding this group of five, were at least a hundred others. Servants, guards and attendants of various kinds. All of them saluting Kaolla with large smiles adorning their faces.  
  
"KA! OL! LA! KA! OL! LA! KA! OL! LA!"  
  
Keitaro found it all very intimidating and he swallowed nervously repeatedly, as Kaolla spurred him into motion and directed him to head for the king. He tried to make his stride look somewhat confident, but the general result was that he looked like someone suffering from a severe constipation. He plastered a strained smile on his face, his gaze darting in all directions as he approached the royal family, carrying an estranged member of it on his shoulders.  
  
All in all, he would have preferred to be used as a training dummy by Motoko back at the Hinata Sou.  
  
"Hiya, pops!" Kaolla greeted the king from her perch.  
  
"Yo, Kaolla." the king responded with a relaxed drawl and a huge smile on his lips. "Lookin' good, kiddo." he added.  
  
"Hiya, mommies!" Kaolla continued, causing Keitaro to gasp as he suddenly realized just what the two women were. He had been wondering which one was the queen, as both looked as if they would fit the bill. But it would appear as if there wasn't just one queen, but two! None of Kaolla's previous comments upon moms, queens and whatnot, had really registered in his mind.  
  
"Good day, Kaolla. It is nice to see you again." the blonde queen responded.  
  
"Hello, Kaolla. It's good to have you back with us." the brown-haired one commented, then turned her attention to Keitaro. "And hello, gorgeous..." she purred with a voice practically oozing of sex, causing Keitaro to blush and sweat.  
  
"Uh-eh-uh-heh-uhm... Hello... Eh... Your royal highness." he managed to stutter out, blinking owlishly at her sensual greeting.  
  
"Don't get your hopes up, mommy. He's mine!" Kaolla announced from her perch. "Biiii-da!" she added, sticking her tongue out and making a weird face at her.  
  
"Hey, sis." the Keitaro-clone said with a bemused smile adorning his lips. "And hello to you too." he added to Keitaro.  
  
"Yes. Hello to the both of you." Kaolla's sister added in clipped tones, a sense of disapproval radiating out from her.  
  
"Hiya!" Kaolla cheerfully greeted them.  
  
"Hi..." Keitaro managed to mumble in response.  
  
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Welcome back, yadda-yadda-yadda star-of-my-eye yadda-yadda noble line yadda-yadda supremely pleased yadda-yadda. Come on, the grub is waiting for us." the king announced and turned his attention to the crowd at the palace gates. "And all you buggers can just sod off! Show's over!" he added, much to the amusement of the crowd, who laughed and cheered at the antics of their laid-back supreme ruler.  
  
"Honey..." the blonde said in a strained tone of voice, her right eyebrow twitching madly.  
  
"I like your speeches, sugar." the brunette commented. "Short and to the point!" she added with a hearty laugh.  
  
"Onwards, Keitaro! To the grub!" Kaolla ordered and laughed happily.  
  
The End! ( For now... )  
  



	2. Two

Su Kaolla - With a license to thrill 

Su Kaolla - With a license to thrill[PG-13]  
Niklas "Hawk" Jonsson  
  


Summary: The Crimson Moon is about to appear and the time for Kaolla's change is imminent. Amalla remembers about it in time and Kaolla is called back home, to ensure that the foreigners she's living about doesn't find out about her condition. However, Kaolla believes that she might be bored without her usual playmates around and thus arranges for Keitaro to go to Molmol with her, which causes all kinds of havoc!  
  
Disclaimer: Love Hina, Hinata Sou and whatnot are not mine, though I certainly wish they were. The story is mine though, all mine.  
  
Feedback/Flames: Yes, please. Both of them are equally fun to read, although I must admit that I greatly prefer the first variety. :)  
I can be found on ICQ as 21771860 or through e-mail as , more stories are available at my nifty lil' site at or by clicking on my handle up above.  
  
"speech"  
emphasis/shouts/Kindred Domination/post-hypnotic triggers  
/thoughts/  
/telepathy/  
translation  
soundeffect/radio/telephone conversation/TV  
  


Previously, on 'Su Kaolla - With a license to thrill' 

  
  
"Hiya!" Kaolla cheerfully greeted them.  
  
"Hi..." Keitaro managed to mumble in response.  
  
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Welcome back, yadda-yadda-yadda star-of-my-eye yadda-yadda noble line yadda-yadda supremely pleased yadda-yadda. Come on, the grub is waiting for us." the king announced and turned his attention to the crowd at the palace gates. "And all you buggers can just sod off! Show's over!" he added, much to the amusement of the crowd, who laughed and cheered at the antics of their laid-back supreme ruler.  
  
"Honey..." the blonde said in a strained tone of voice, her right eyebrow twitching madly.  
  
"I like your speeches, sugar." the brunette commented. "Short and to the point!" she added with a hearty laugh.  
  
"Onwards, Keitaro! To the grub!" Kaolla ordered and laughed happily.  
  


Roll credits 

  
  


* * *

  
  


Chapter Two:

  
  
The royal dinner was one of the most odd affairs Keitaro had ever been through in his entire life.  
  
The king was pleasant enough, chatting amiably and informally with everyone around. His behavior was certainly nothing at all like what Keitaro had imagined from a king. He smoked damn well near non-stop, he drank, he ate, he burped, he laughed out loud and would on occasion make his way over to Kaolla in order to enfold her in a crushing bear hug. Keitaro could certainly make a guess from whom Su had gotten her sleeping hug habit from.  
  
The blonde queen, was formal, regal and certainly acted more like a queen, then her husband acted like a king. She tried to keep the entire event formal, but as evidenced by the twitch of her eyebrows, failed miserably to do so. While she spoke kindly and politely to Keitaro a few times, it was hard to discern what she really thought. All in all, she just served to make him even more nervous then he already was.  
  
The brunette queen, didn't help much in that department either, quite the opposite even. She was significantly less formal then the other queen and was even more friendly then the king. Disturbingly so, as a matter of fact! He wasn't quite sure if she was really flirting with him or just joking, but it certainly seemed like she was coming on to him! The king didn't appear to care overly much about it, though one or the other of the blonde queens eyebrows twitched from time to time at the more blatant overtures.  
  
Kaolla was... Well, Kaolla. There was no changing that.  
  
Her brother was kind, soft-spoken and if it hadn't been for the social and geographical barriers between the two of them, Keitaro thought they might have been friends. The antics of the king didn't appear to bother him and he merely smiled at the behavior of the two queens.  
  
Her sister was... Well. Keitaro didn't really know what to think. It almost seemed as if she resented him, though he couldn't be quite sure of that. She acted more formal then her brother, but not as much as the first queen. But she didn't speak at all with Keitaro, going as far as ignoring him the one time he attempted to strike up a conversation with her.  
  
He felt very much out of place and would have preferred not being seated at the royal table, but Kaolla, her brother, the king and the brunette queen had insisted that he'd join them. The other queen had added that as a guest of her daughter, he was more then welcome to join them, but had not revealed weather that was a course of action that she endorsed or would merely endure. Her sister had not commented upon his invitation to the royal table at all.  
  
He felt very much relieved, when the entire affair was over and Kaolla dragged him away to show him her suite at the palace.  
  
It was certainly a far cry from her room at Hinata Sou. The only plants around here, were of the potted variety. There was no nuclear reactor in the corner, the tables weren't filled with tools, parts or half-finished inventions. It was merely seven immaculately cleaned rooms with two bathrooms, finely furnished and decorated. Seven large rooms. Her suite took up nearly as much space as the first floor at the Hinata Sou, including the Hot Springs. One of the bathrooms contained a heated pool, nearly the size of the Hot Springs at Hinata Sou. The second bathroom was western in design, with an ornate bathtub and a water closet in the same room.  
  
"And this is my bedroom, Keitaro." she announced, as she opened the door to the seventh room and prodded him inside.  
  
"It's... Big... And, uh, nice..." Keitaro commented, politely withholding his opinion that it looked like a demented pimps wet dream. Either that, or like an ad from Brothels 'R Us which a team of hung-over designers on Speed had put together. There were hues of red. There were silks, velvet and satin. There were mirrors on the ceiling. There were golden tassels. There was polished white marble columns.  
  
There was... A bed, of sorts.  
  
It was large enough to fit ten people, the covers were red silk, the pillows were heart-shaped and resting in the middle of it was a large stuffed tiger.  
  
"Mmrrrf..."  
  
Correction, a large live tiger.  
  
"AAAAH!" Keitaro shrieked, as the huge creature yawned and stretched.  
  
"Hiya, Razor-chan!" Kaolla greeted the huge creature, leapt up onto the bed, bouncing away from where she had landed, flew up into the air and landed on top of the tiger which responded with an 'oomph' of expelled air. Kaolla happily wrapped her arms around the tiger, nuzzling against it with gusto as the creature gave Keitaro an almost sheepish look.  
  
"R-ra-r-r-r-razor-ch-chan?" Keitaro stuttered, sweating profusely as he stared at Kaolla wrestling with the despondent looking tiger. The tiger held its huge paws together and its mouth was moving soundlessly. It almost seemed as if it was silently praying for mercy and relief, much like Keitaro himself did at times when he was being mauled by Kaolla or one of the other girls.  
  
"Yeah! He's my pet! Isn't he cute?" Kaolla inquired, grabbing hold of Razors whiskers, using them to pull his mouth up into some semblance of a grin. The defeated look in those once-feral eyes as they focused on Keitaro, seemed to signal that the owner of those eyes knew that the times of peace and recuperation they had enjoyed lately, was at an end.  
  
"H-ho-h-how di-d-did you wind up with a t-t-tiger for your pet?" Keitaro inquired, taking a cautious step closer to the bed. While the tiger had scared the crap out of him when it first moved, its sheepish expression of utter defeat was quickly decreasing the amount of fear it inspired in Keitaro.  
  
"I caught him for my Rite of Ascension!" Kaolla happily replied, twisting the creatures head around in order to plant a sloppy kiss right onto its nose.  
  
"C-caught him?" Keitaro repeated.  
  
"Yeah! That was lots of fun!" she enthused, while the tiger merely shuddered.  
  
"What is a 'Rite of Ascension'?" Keitaro asked.  
  
"An act of bravery, to prove that one is fit to lead our people." Kaolla replied. "I was seven. The Council of Elders thought I was very brave. At least, that's what they told me when I brought Razor-chan into the council hall and asked if capturing him could count as my Rite of Ascension."  
  
"I see..." Keitaro replied as he imagined a room full of stuffy old people running for their lives and climbing the walls, as Kaolla came riding a scorched, limping tiger into the council room, a still smoking weapon of some sort slung over her right shoulder. While that might not necessarily be how it was, he didn't think that he was all that far off the mark.  
  
He yawned, not having been able to sleep on the plane and having worked hard before the flight, had put a severe dent in his energy supply.  
  
"Uh, Kaolla." he ventured, having been kicked repeatedly in the back of his head the first time he had refereed to her as 'Your royal highness'. "I don't mean to be rude, but do you think you can ask someone to show me to my room? I'm getting rather tired."  
  
"This is it, Keitaro." Kaolla replied, gesturing at the room they were currently in.  
  
"EEEeeeeh?!" Keitaro exclaimed.  
  
"I'm gonna be sleepin' with you anyway, now that Motoko isn't here to snuggle up against. So, there's no need for you to get a room of your own, when we can sleep in style right here." Kaolla flippantly responded. "Your bag is over there, in case you need anything." she added, pointing next to the door, where his sports bag stood next to Kaolla's suitcase.  
  
"Can't you sleep with one of your mothers? Or dad? Or brother? Or sister?" Keitaro inquired.  
  
"But I wanna sleep with you, Keitaro." Kaolla pouted. "That's why I asked you to come, remember?"  
  
"No, you asked me to keep you company and play with you." Keitaro replied, being fairly certain that he would have remembered if Kaolla had asked him to sleep in her bed.  
  
"Yeah? So keep me company, then!" Kaolla said, rolling away from Razor-chan towards the pillows. "Come on! It's really comfy."  
  
"This is your room. It's just not proper..." Keitaro said, backing away from the bed while shaking his head.  
  
"We've slept together before." Kaolla stated dismissively.  
  
"You've slept with him?! Oh, I'm so envious of you, Kaolla!" a cheerful voice exclaimed and Keitaro jumped, spinning around in the air and coming face to face with the rest of the Royal family as he landed, the brunette queen having taken point this time. "Was he any good? Can you recommend him?" she inquired, slithering over to Keitaro where she promptly proceeded to caress his torso, eyeing him like a trader at a cattle market.  
  
"I-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-it-i-it-it-it-i-it's n-not..." Keitaro started to stutter a protest, only to be cut off by Kaolla.  
  
"Sure! Several times. It was the best. He's even better then Motoko, but she gets so upset whenever she hears that I've slept with him, so I hardly ever get to do it." Kaolla enthused.  
  
"Oh?" the king commented, an amused smile on his face, while the blonde queens eyebrows were twitching so furiously that Keitaro absently wondered if she was going to take flight if it got any worse.  
  
"Congratulations, Kaolla. It's high time that you got yourself a boyfriend, now if only Amalla would get off her lazy bum and start smelling the roses!" the slutty queen proclaimed, still caressing a now very nervous and still madly stuttering Keitaro.  
  
"Congratulations, Kaolla." her 'brother' said. "I am a little disappointed that you got yourself a boyfriend without telling your fiancée first, but I can see that he makes you happy, so I'll bow out gracefully." he added.  
  
"Yes, congratulations." Amalla managed to get out between gritted teeth, then she blinked and appeared to come to some sort of realization. Suddenly, she smiled an absolutely gorgeous smile and that made her shine like a beautiful sunrise. "Congratulations!" she added with a friendly and genuine smile.  
  
"B-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-bu-b-b-b..." Keitaro stuttered.  
  
"Young man!" the blonde queen said sternly, instantly shutting him up and putting his mental gears back on track.  
  
"Yes, mam! I mean... Yes, your majesty!" Keitaro said, nearly standing at attention under the blonde womans piercing gaze.  
  
"You will take responsibility, won't you?" she inquired.  
  
"B..." Keitaro started, only to stop as the eyebrows started twitching again, though now both of them did so at the same time. "Yes, your majesty!" he snapped.  
  
"Good. We'll have the wedding in two days. I'll not have a bastard being born in my family!" she announced, then grabbed the second queen and pulled her out of the room, already discussing wedding arrangements.  
  
"Wedding?" Keitaro whimpered under his breath, feeling weak in the knees and faint of heart. "Bu-b-b-bu-b-but..." he stuttered, trying to protest against what was going on all around him.  
  
"Welcome to the family, kid." the king said with a wry smile.  
  
"Bu-b-bu-but... But... I... We... We didn't..." Keitaro stuttered.  
  
"I suspected as much." the king commented. "Won't help you now, however. Once those two get started... Like I said, welcome to the family." he finished.  
  
"Bu-bu-bu-bu-bu-bu..."  
  
"Is wedding, tasty?" Kaolla inquired, a finger in her mouth and a thoughtful expression on her face. She wasn't nearly as clueless as her comments might make her seem at times, but the tasty-question was a handy way to buy herself some time to think a situation through some more. She really liked Keitaro, he was fun, kind and somewhat handsome. She certainly could do worse and it was definitively an improvement over having to marry the man who was raised as her brother.  
  
And if they were married, Motoko could hardly complain over her sleeping with him, now could she?  
  
Kaolla instantly decided that she fully approved of the current situation. Not only would she get out of marrying her adoptive brother, whom she dearly loved, just not in a marrying kind of way, but she would get to marry a kind, thoughtful, fun and handsome man, whom she loved. She wasn't yet certain that it was a marrying kind of love, but suspected that it was. Then her brother would be free and Amalla could start laying the moves on him, if she so desired.  
  
Yes, the situation was definitively to Kaolla's liking.  
  


* * *

  
  
"Hey, guys! Come quick! You've just gotta see this!" Kitsune hollered at the top of her voice, her eyes glued to the television set.  
  
... here in Molmol, in front of the royal palace were the wedding is about to take place. The groom, the Japanese citizen Urashima Keitaro, looks a bit nervous. But considering that he's marrying the Crown Princess of Molmol, it is understandable that there are some pre-wedding jitters to confront.  
  
"Way to go, Keitaro!" Kitsune cheered, raising her beer in a silent tribute to the absent Ronin.  
  
"What's going on, Kitsune?" Naru said, as the others gathered behind the couch. "What was that about Keitaro? Has the moron finally decided to call us?"  
  
"Keitaro is getting married! To the Crown Princess of Molmol." Kitsune replied and pointed at the TV, much to the shock, astonishment and complete bafflement of the collected females.  
  
"The who of what?" Sarah asked, scratching the back of her head in confusion.  
  
"S-s-s-se-s-sem-s-sempai is?" Shinobu stuttered.  
  
"What?! What foul, depraved acts could have convinced any woman to marry one such as him? He must have brain-washed her!" Motoko announced.  
  
"K-k-k-keitaro?" Naru stuttered, her gaze sealed to the screen, which showed a newscast live from Molmol, where a very nervous looking Urashima Keitaro was standing in front of an elaborate and highly perverted-looking altar, depicting several gods from the Molmol pantheon engaging in various very athletic-looking sexual acts. Some of which seemed to require more then the usual amount of limbs and various other appendages. Keitaro was dressed in a dark suit and though he looked nervous, even Sarah and Motoko had to reluctantly admit, if only to themselves, that he cut a handsome figure in it.  
  
The announcement came as a shock to most and the wedding almost directly upon the announcement. We here at NE! can only speculate what could have brought this wedding frenzy on, but the blushing bride appears to have put on a few pounds since last she appeared to the public. Perhaps she has been doing something other then eating those famous Kaolla Splits lately? Did our fellow countryman Mr Urashima nibble upon the forbidden royal fruit before the wedding?  
  
"What?!" Naru exclaimed with clenched fists, while Motoko looked furious enough to chew through steel bars.  
  
Little is known about the groom, but NE!'s sources reveal that he's a third year Ronin aiming for Tokyo University, currently working as a live-in manager for a girls dormitory in Hinata City. There is some speculation that this is how he came to meet the Crown Princess, who has been living and studying in Japan for some time now.  
  
"He went there unexpectedly with Su... You don't think..." Sarah asked, as a horrified expression started to form on her face.  
  
And here's the bride now! Oh, she looks stunning in that western style wedding dress! The Everwatching Eyes of Molmol does make it look a bit creepy, but Crown Princess Su Kaolla pulls it off none the less. The young bride looks absolutely gorgeous in white! The designer dress by Madame Montague, is reputed to cost an absolute fortune due to the stress she and her team were laboring under to get it finished in time.  
  
"Kaolla!" Shinobu exclaimed, staring in shock at the screen as Sarah fainted. Motoko looked queasy and Naru snatched Kitsune's beer can out of her hand, draining it in one go.  
  
"Oh, I can't wait to hear the story behind this!" Kitsune exclaimed and started to laugh, reaching for another beer to replace the one Naru had so rudely stolen from her.  
  


* * *

  
  
"Prince Su..." Keitaro muttered despondently, seated on the floor, resting his back against the foot of Kaolla's bed. Well, his and Kaolla's now, he guessed. Seated next to him, was the tiger Razor. Keitaro awkwardly hefted the bottle of bourbon he'd brought along from the reception and took a swing straight from the bottle, coughing and spluttering at the foul taste and burning sensation the strong drink caused.  
  
He put the bottle down next to him and leaned his head back, until it was resting on top of the bed.  
  
"Prince Su Keitaro... Kami, how did I manage to wind up in this mess?" he asked of the heavens, then tilted his head back forward, only to see that Razor had taken the neck of the bottle into his mouth and then proceeded to tilt his head back, swallowing down several gulps of the strong liquid. Then he tilted it back forward and carefully put the bottle back down on the ground, giving off a relieved sigh. "You know the feeling, huh?" Keitaro asked, before wiping the bottle off on his suit jacket, taking another swallow from it once he'd cleared off most of the remaining tiger slobber from it.  
  
Razor nodded in response, a look of despair on his once-feral face. Now, he looked more like a cute little kitty-cat who had just discovered the fact that the mice had rented Dobermans packing some serious heat as bodyguards, then a wild predatory animal.  
  
"My life was so simple, once upon a time..." Keitaro reflected. "All I had to worry about was studying, finding the promised girl and trying to avoid having one of my parents walk in during one of my stroking sessions. Now, I have a girls dorm to run, studies, a wife and a princehood to boot. And what about the promised girl? Should I still look for her? What will she think of the fact that I'm married? Will I be able to get a divorce and remain breathing? Will the promised girl accept a divorced Ronin or run screaming from me?"  
  
"MMRRRRRrrrrrr!" Razor growled, which is tigrish for 'Hah! If you only knew! One day, I was living the good life in the jungle. The next, some crazy cub with a bazooka brings me to this odd den!'. The huge cat leaned forward and took possession of the bottle once again, taking another few swallows from it, before depositing it back into Keitaro's hand.  
  
This time, Keitaro didn't even bother to wipe it off before chugging from it.  
  
"Honey? Are you drinking? On our wedding night?" Kaolla inquired as she strode into the room. Razor cast one apologetic glance at Keitaro, shook his furred head and then rose.  
  
"MMRRRRRrrrrrr." he apologized. Because while it might sound quite similar to 'Hah! If you only knew! One day, I was living the good life in the jungle. The next, some crazy cub with a bazooka brings me to this odd den!', it actually means 'Oh man! I am so outta here. Sorry, Gov. But on this, you are so on your own.'.  
  
The End! ( For now... )  
  



	3. Three

Su Kaolla - With a license to thrill 

Su Kaolla - With a license to thrill[PG-13]  
Niklas "Hawk" Jonsson  
  


Summary: The Crimson Moon is about to appear and the time for Kaolla's change is imminent. Amalla remembers about it in time and Kaolla is called back home, to ensure that the foreigners she's living about doesn't find out about her condition. However, Kaolla believes that she might be bored without her usual playmates around and thus arranges for Keitaro to go to Molmol with her, which causes all kinds of havoc!  
  
Disclaimer: Love Hina, Hinata Sou and whatnot are not mine, though I certainly wish they were. The story is mine though, all mine.  
  
Feedback/Flames: Yes, please. Both of them are equally fun to read, although I must admit that I greatly prefer the first variety. :)  
I can be found on ICQ as 21771860 or through e-mail as , more stories are available at my nifty lil' site at or by clicking on my handle up above.  
  
"speech"  
emphasis/shouts/Kindred Domination/post-hypnotic triggers  
/thoughts/  
/telepathy/  
translation  
soundeffect/radio/telephone conversation/TV  
  


Previously, on 'Su Kaolla - With a license to thrill' 

  
  
"MMRRRRRrrrrrr!" Razor growled, which is tigrish for 'Hah! If you only knew! One day, I was living the good life in the jungle. The next, some crazy cub with a bazooka brings me to this odd den!'. The huge cat leaned forward and took possession of the bottle once again, taking another few swallows from it, before depositing it back into Keitaro's hand.  
  
This time, Keitaro didn't even bother to wipe it off before chugging from it.  
  
"Honey? Are you drinking? On our wedding night?" Kaolla inquired as she strode into the room. Razor cast one apologetic glance at Keitaro, shook his furred head and then rose.  
  
"MMRRRRRrrrrrr." he apologized. Because while it might sound quite similar to 'Hah! If you only knew! One day, I was living the good life in the jungle. The next, some crazy cub with a bazooka brings me to this odd den!', it actually means 'Oh man! I am so outta here. Sorry, Gov. But on this, you are so on your own.'.  
  


Roll credits 

  
  


* * *

  
  


Chapter Three:

  
  
"Yo, chief. I've got some good news and some really bad news. Which do you want first?" the nameless henchman who is about to be pulped inquired of the evil mastermind, who didn't even provide his henchmen with a decent dental plan and who always called to bother them on their days off.  
  
Yeah, real evil.  
  
"The good news." the evil mastermind ordered.  
  
"Princess Kaolla isn't marrying her brother any more." the henchman announced.  
  
"Yatta!" the evil mastermind cheered. "She'll be mine, all mine! Forever and ever, it'll be the two of us. We'll love, we'll cuddle and we'll call each other cute little pet names, like 'kitten' and 'studmuffin'." he added, little hearts in his eyes, until he happened to glance at the henchman and his amused expression at the antics of his evil boss. "Hrm. Well, that is good news." the mastermind conceded, getting himself back into his emotionless self again. "What's the bad news?"  
  
"She's not marrying her brother, because she has already married some foreigner." the unfortunate henchman announced.  
  
BANG  
  
The evil mastermind put the gun back into its holster and rubbed his temples. Absentmindedly, he reached out for his intercom system and pressed the 'send'-button.  
  
"Miss Cashdollar, send in the cleaners will you? Oh, and call Goons'R Us, would you? I need some new henchmen." he ordered.  
  
I told you we should have bought in bulk! It would have been cheaper in the long run.  
  
"Yes, yes. Fine. We'll do that for my next evil scheme." the evil mastermind muttered as he waited for someone to come in and get the blood off the wall in front of his desk. That was the problem with being on a tight budget, cramped office spaces got so incredible messy whenever one happened to kill someone in them.  
  


* * *

  
  
Keitaro woke up feeling like ten million yen.  
  
Then reality set in as his dream of attending Todai surrounded by gorgeous Naru-clones and being married to the original one faded away, reducing his net value to about seven yen as he recalled the events of the last few days. Not to mention that he now also noticed that he had woken up inside an oversized 'doghouse' in the royal garden, with his face buried in the armpit of a tiger.  
  
He groaned repeatedly as he crawled out of the cramped sleeping quarters he had shared with Razor. He smelled like... Well... Like he'd slept with a tiger. The unnatural sleeping position had put crimps in just about every part of his body and a few scratches on his arms was evidence that Razor clawed in his sleep.  
  
The beast truly was aptly named.  
  
Keitaro awkwardly stood up, stretching and wincing at the cracking sounds that was emitted from various parts of his body. He yawned and focused a bleary gaze at his surroundings, scratching his belly as he wondered what the time was.  
  
He shuddered as he recalled the events of last night, his wedding night. He'd snuck away from the reception with a bottle in hand, retreated to the bedroom and shared some bourbon with Razor, when Kaolla had arrived. Razor had wisely retreated, something Keitaro wished that he could have done as well.  
  
Kaolla wasn't angry with him, she'd merely been teasing him with her opening remarks.  
  
Oh, how he wished that she'd been angry with him! That would have been oh so much more simple to handle!  
  
But, oh no! His life just couldn't be that simple. Apparently, Amalla had given her a quick lesson on the birds and the bees, a copy of the illustrated Kama Sutra and a copy of the Molmol equivalent thereof. Which seemed to involve a lot more participants and a wide variety of accessories. Kaolla had been intrigued, to say the least, and was more then eager to use her new husband as a guinea pig for some enthusiastic experimentation with various sections from the two books.  
  
After failing to discourage the young woman from that particular course of action, Keitaro had bolted, leaping out of the window. The fact that Kaolla's suit was on the second floor, proved no deterrent for the panicked Ronin, as he had acquired a lot of experience in falling from heights since his arrival at the Hinata Sou.  
  
Kaolla had given pursuit, proving just as much of a challenge to evade as always. No doubt he sported several new scars, burns and bumps on his back. Where she had managed to get her hands on that rocket launcher, was still a mystery. Surely the royal family didn't just keep them lying around the palace, did they?  
  
He'd bumped into the brunette queen in a hallway, who had been more then willing to assist in hiding him away from her 'daughter' and in a moment of bad judgement despite her earlier actions, he had accepted her offer. Naturally, she had taken him to her private bedroom and insisted that he hide in her bed. Then, she had proceeded to strip before joining him under the covers in just mentioned bed.  
  
Apparently, she too had the same books that Kaolla had just received and she had not only read them repeatedly, but even went as far as to memorize both of them and was more then willing to try a few chapters out with Keitaro.  
  
Again, he had bolted, this time minus his suit jacket and shirt. Where the woman had learned to undress someone that quickly, was a mystery.  
  
In his search for a hideout, he'd come across Razors Kaolla-is-in-the-house chosen sleeping quarters in the royal garden and crawled in to join the disgruntled tiger. Razor did not only resent that his mistress was back and that he couldn't sleep in the comfy bed any more, without having to fear getting several ribs cracked by her nocturnal habits. But now he even had to share his Kaolla-free environment with his new drinking buddy? Friendship was all well and good, but there had to be some limits to Razors way of thinking and he decided to kick Keitaro out.  
  
Of course, when the two of them heard Kaolla's voice in the garden, they'd quickly joined forces. Razor had no desire to let his mistress know that he was harboring a fugitive, so he'd used a mighty paw to shove Keitaro all the way into the back, then positioned himself in front of the opening, in order to prevent visibility to the interior of his little domain.  
  
Kaolla had soon continued her pursuit and left the gardens, leaving Razor with a new lodger for the night.  
  
The brunette queen had also come by in search of Keitaro, calling out that she promised to shelter and protect him from the viles of her sinister daughter. The fact that she had been clad in nothing but panties and carrying a whip and a ball-gag, did not inspire much confidence in her proclamations however, so Keitaro had remained hidden inside Razors hut.  
  
"MMRRRRRrrrrrr?" Razor had commented upon the situation, which basically translates to 'The second of the Alpha females, seems to be perpetually in heat. Perhaps if you can be the one to finally knock her up and get her with cubs again, she might settle down a bit. Are you quite certain that you wouldn't be willing to give it a shot?'. Keitaro hadn't understood any of that, but Razor assumed from his lodgers continued stealthy behavior, that he wasn't all that willing to mate with the Alpha female.  
  
Perhaps this newcomer wasn't all that keen on challenging the current Alpha male for dominance just yet. Plenty of the members of this odd pride seemed to be treating the newcomer with an odd amount of reverence, submitting to him. Razor assumed that the newcomer must have challenged and won over quite a lot of them when he hadn't been around to witness it, so he found it odd that Keitaro hadn't challenged the Alpha male yet.  
  
Then again, he had never really understood the odd two-leggers he'd been living with for so long now. He had learned to avoid the Alpha's youngest cub to the greatest extent possible, he had learned to discern the hierarchy the two-leggers operated under and by using scent, body language and audible cues, managed to learn how to tell their moods. But other then that, they were still a grand mystery to Razor.  
  
At least they kept him fed and some of the odd structures in their dens, were quite comfortable to rest upon, even if he had to put up with a lot of things in return. The most disconcerting of which, was the youngest cub of the Alpha female that wasn't perpetually in heat.  
  
In fact, she seemed almost perpetually in cold, if such a term even existed.  
  
The only times she were not, was when she was alone, or believed herself to be alone at any rate, with the Alpha male or the other Alpha female.  
  
Razor had never truly understood that particular aspect of the two-leggers. The two Alpha females were just that, females. Females couldn't produce offspring with one another, so why go through all the trouble of mating, when nothing could ever result of their coupling other then loss of precious energy reserves? Granted, this pride of two-leggers must contain some very skilled hunters, because there was never a lack of food to replenish lost energy with, but it seemed like such a waste anyway.  
  
Two-leggers were odd, there was no denying that.  
  
Keitaro cautiously made his way back into the palace, as Razor studied the departing two-legger with absent interest as a part of his ongoing studies of his current pride.  
  
Keitaro happened to spot the royal family heading for the dining room they tended to use for more intimate gatherings of the immediate family and took the opportunity to head for Kaolla's suit, where a hasty shower, a change of pants and boxers, as well as adding a shirt to his ensemble, did much to improve his current mood.  
  
He even felt comfortable enough, to venture out in search of his new wife, his new in-laws and breakfast. Although not necessarily in that order. The way in which he located them however, was not quite what he expected.  
  
KABLOOOOOOM  
  
"YiiiiiiiiiAAAAAHHHHHH!" Keitaro shrieked as an explosion tore apart the corridor he was walking in, launching him through the air and slammed him through a window in a shower of glass and splinters of wood. He grunted as he impacted a flat surface, then landed on something soft, scented and pliable. He took a few deep breaths and attempted to collect himself, before he realized that the general feeling of whatever had broken his fall, was disturbingly familiar.  
  
It was something which he had become frequently aquainted with since arriving at the Hinata Sou, something which usually got him a solid beating whenever he came into contact with it. He shuddered.  
  
He opened his eyes and found himself staring down at the generous cleavage of the woman who had broken his fall. He put his hands down onto the floor on either side of the woman, pushed up and stared in horror down at the slutty queen, who was gazing up at him with a vapid expression.  
  
"Oh, son-in-law! How bold!" she enthused, then grasped his head and pulled him back down into her cleavage.  
  
"Assassins? Again?" the King sighed, plucking a shard of glass off of the toast he was holding with a slight frown. "Rawan, call the contractors, if you would." he requested of the Royal Chancellor, who often joined the royal family in their little gatherings.  
  
"Of course, your majesty." Lu Rawan replied, bowing in his seat and pressing a speed dial on his cell-phone, plucking a cord-less headset out of a pocket in his robes. "Ah, Nadan. It's me. ... Yeah. ... One of the walls is down, a window and I assume a few doors might need replacing. New carpeting and ceiling. ... Yes... Very well, I'll let security know to expect your team in fifteen. Yes, the usual rates, as always. ... Yes, thank you. Have a pleasant day." he said, wrapping up his conversation. "It shall be dealt with, your majesty." he told the king, then glanced over at the frantic Keitaro who furiously attempted to untangle himself from the clingy queen. "Shall I call a medic over?" he inquired.  
  
"Son-in-law seems like a sturdy lad. He'll be all right." the king commented unconcernedly.  
  
"Very well, your majesty." Rawan responded and rose from his seat. "I'll have the kitchen staff set up a new breakfast in the blue room and then I'll have a little chat with security. By your leave." Rawan announced, bowing before leaving the room.  
  
"Keitaro. If you have sex with one of my moms before you do me, I'll be very cross with you." Kaolla announced from her seat, calmly eating a Kaolla Split for breakfast. Experience and quick reflexes had allowed her to spin around and huddle protectively over her repast to shelter it from debris. She had quite happily proceeded to eat, once the dust had settled.  
  
"You mean that you already haven't?!" the frosty queen demanded, a bit of emotion in her voice for once.  
  
"Nope." Kaolla admitted. "I tried last night, but he got away." she added with a slightly disappointed frown.  
  
"But... You said... You said that you've slept with him several times before." the queen argued.  
  
"Oh, sure. I've slept with him before. I have nightmares when I sleep alone. But I haven't had sex with him before. Or with anyone else, for that matter." Kaolla replied. "Though now I know what Amara-mom meant when she offered to lick my carpet during my last visit." she added, glancing over at her still captive husband. "Amara-mom. Let go of my husband, will you? You can test-drive him for a bit once I've had him."  
  
"But he's so cute!" the brunette queen exclaimed. "He is a little shy, but I've dealt with shy men before!" she added. "I know the purrrrrfect cure for that particular condition." she growled hungrily.  
  
"Help!" Keitaro whimpered from between Queen Amaras generous mounds.  
  
"Amara-mom... Would you really steal his innocence before his wife has had a go at him?" Kaolla asked in a faint voice, moisture in the corners of her suddenly unnaturally huge eyes.  
  
"Aw..." Amara sighed, looking up at the puppy-dog expression of her stepdaughter. "That's cheating, Kaolla." she muttered disapprovingly, reluctantly letting go of Keitaro, who scrambled away on all fours as fast as he could, bumping up against the wall where he staggered into an upright position, flat against the wall. "You're no fun. Either of you." she pouted, adjusting her breasts before getting up.  
  
"You really should try to act more dignified, Amara." the haughty one sniffed.  
  
"Oh, is that so, Ta-chan? Remind me again, just whom was it that spend yesterday night gagged and tied up, upon her own request, I might add?" Queen Amara inquired, archly raising an eyebrow and directing a pointed look at her co-wife.  
  
"You!" Queen Tamawa exclaimed, pointing an accusing finger at Amara.  
  
"Oh, yeah. Right. I forgot... But who fingered me to three climaxes, then proceeded to spank and tease me all night long while I was bound'n gagged?" Amara inquired.  
  
"I..." Queen Tamawa started to reply, pointing at herself, before hastily putting the offending appendage down, shutting up with a furious blush.  
  
"So, that's what you two were doing." the king commented with a yawn. "You should have invited me along to watch."  
  
"This whole family is seriously demented..." Keitaro muttered under his breath. "Then again, mine isn't all that much better." he added with a faint sigh.  
  


* * *

  
  
"Unhand me! Release me, I say!" Motoko ordered, struggling against the seven security guards around her. "And you there, stop fingering my sword!" she added, pulling her left arm free in order to point at an eight security guard, who had partly drawn her sword from the scabbard, fingering the razor-sharp edge of her weapon.  
  
"What is your purpose for coming to Molmol?" a ninth guard asked, ignoring the commotion with Motoko in the background as he instead focused on the other residents of the Hinata Sou.  
  
"We are here to find Urashima Keitaro and make him pay for what he's done." Naru replied with steel in her voice.  
  
"Urashima... Urashima... Why does that sound so fam..." the guard muttered, then blinked as realization struck. "Prince Su! You are here for Prince Su Keitaro?"  
  
"Eunuch Keitaro, once I get my hands on him!" Motoko shouted from underneath a huddle of security guards.  
  
"Yes, Eunuch Keitaro. He must pay, for taking advantage of an innocent young girl like Kaolla." Naru responded, clenching her fists.  
  
"He married my best friend! She married that Ronin! She had to have been brain-washed, or black-mailed, or something." Sarah growled. "We'll force him to release her from his evil clutches and make everything right again."  
  
"Sempai married Kaolla... Sempai married Kaolla... Sempai married Kaolla..." Shinobu repeated over and over again, in muted mutters, a shocked look in her eyes.  
  
"And what about you two?" the guard asked, looking at the last two people in the group.  
  
"Oh, me? I'm just here to see what sort of trouble the others can get themselves into." Kitsune replied with a wide grin. "So far, they've exceeded my every expectation."  
  
"I thought I'd give my nephew a gentle reminder that he ought to have invited his loving aunt to the wedding." Haruka replied, puffing on a cigarette, pointedly ignoring the no-smoking sign. She slowly uncrossed her legs and instead put the leg that had been underneath, on top in a very Sharon Stone:esque manner.  
  
That move would have been much more impressive and interesting to watch, had she not worn slacks on this particular day.  
  
In the next room over, another three security guards didn't have an easier time.  
  
"Let go of me, you brutes!" the irate woman screamed. "I have to kill him! I have to kill him!" she roared and managed to throw one of the guards aside for a few moments, before he grabbed hold of her arm again.  
  
"Now, now, dear... Easy now... Calm down... Think of your blood pressure..." a timid-looking man standing next to the door implored his wife.  
  
"He got married! He got married to a princess! He didn't tell me! He didn't invite me to the wedding!" she screamed right back, kneeing a security guard in the groin. "If that no-good son of mine thinks he'll get away with this, he's got another thing coming to him!" Mrs Urashima bellowed.  
  
And things weren't much of an improvement in the room next to that one either.  
  
"Calm down, Kanako." Granny Hina pleaded.  
  
"I. Am. Calm." Kanako groused, staring with irritation at the lone security guard backed up against the wall, who wished with all his heart that his colleagues who had been called away to help deal with two violent maniacs would return post-haste. The little girl travelling with the old woman was seriously creeping him out.  
  
"Then would you mind not breaking chunks of wood off the table, crushing them in your hands?" Granny Hina requested. "It's disconcerting the poor man and distracting him from his duties."  
  
"Ah, don't worry about it. Really!" the guard said in a shrill voice, trying not to imagine what those relentless hands could do with certain sensitive parts of his anatomy that he greatly valued. "What... Ah... What is your purpose for coming to Molmol?" he inquired nervously.  
  
"Oh, we're just here to see my grandson and visit a few hot springs." Granny Hina answered with a kind smile.  
  
"Yes... I too would like to see my brother. We have... A lot of things to talk about..." Kanako stated in an ice-cold voice, her eyes shooting daggers at the guard who delayed her from finding Keitaro and... Expressing her displeasure with his recent marriage.  
  
Some ways off, back at the royal palace, Keitaro couldn't understand why he kept sneezing. He hoped that it wasn't a summer flu, those were always the hardest to get rid of.  
  
The Royal Groundkeeper was also confused, wondering just why Princess Kaolla's pet was digging a deep hole in the ground underneath its hut. Or why it kept stealing shovels that it bit the wood handles off from, metal trays from the serving staff and the hubcaps from the royal garage.  
  
He had peeked into the animals den while it was away on a supply run and become even more confused, as he saw that the animal had lined the walls of his dug out pit with shovelheads, serving trays, hubcaps, frying pans and other relatively flat metal objects. Also resting in the pit, were two bulletproof vests, a helmet and a supply of food snatched from the kitchen. It almost looked as if the creature was attempting to fashion some sort of shelter in preparation for a siege.  
  
Animals were odd, no doubt about that.  
  
Razor didn't have time to be confused, as he was busy making his way away from the royal gymnasium, with several weights in his mouth. He had taken one whiff of the morning breeze coming from the airport and felt the fur at the back of his neck rise. Without hesitation, he'd hastily dug a hole underneath his den and was now busy lining it with whatever hard objects he could find.  
  
Now all he needed was a supply of water and some sort of lid, to drag over the pit and then stay down there until the danger was over.  
  
The End! ( For now... )  
  



	4. Four

Su Kaolla - With a license to thrill 

Su Kaolla - With a license to thrill[PG-13]  
Niklas "Hawk" Jonsson  
  


Summary: The Crimson Moon is about to appear and the time for Kaolla's change is imminent. Amalla remembers about it in time and Kaolla is called back home, to ensure that the foreigners she's living about doesn't find out about her condition. However, Kaolla believes that she might be bored without her usual playmates around and thus arranges for Keitaro to go to Molmol with her, which causes all kinds of havoc!  
  
Disclaimer: Love Hina, Hinata Sou and whatnot are not mine, though I certainly wish they were. The story is mine though, all mine.  
  
Feedback/Flames: Yes, please. Both of them are equally fun to read, although I must admit that I greatly prefer the first variety. :)  
I can be found on ICQ as 21771860 or through e-mail as , more stories are available at my nifty lil' site at or by clicking on my handle up above.  
  
"speech"  
emphasis/shouts/Kindred Domination/post-hypnotic triggers  
/thoughts/  
/telepathy/  
translation  
soundeffect/radio/telephone conversation/TV  
  


Previously, on 'Su Kaolla - With a license to thrill' 

  
  
Razor didn't have time to be confused, as he was busy making his way away from the royal gymnasium, with several weights in his mouth. He had taken one whiff of the morning breeze coming from the airport and felt the fur at the back of his neck rise. Without hesitation, he'd hastily dug a hole underneath his den and was now busy lining it with whatever hard objects he could find.  
  
Now all he needed was a supply of water and some sort of lid, to drag over the pit and then stay down there until the danger was over.  
  


Roll credits 

  
  


* * *

  
  


Chapter Four:

  
  
"Prince Su. May I have a few words with you?" a calm and collected voice inquired, causing Keitaro to look away from the clouds in the skies, in order to focus at Lu Rawan, the Royal Chancellor.  
  
"Of course, Chancellor." Keitaro replied.  
  
"I just received a troubling call from the international airport. It would appear as if there are several individuals in three groups who have just arrived, who all wants to have word with you. All three parties are currently detained at the airport." Rawan responded.  
  
"Who... Who are they?" Keitaro inquired, swallowing nervously. He had a faint feeling that he knew at least two of the groups, had expected two groups actually. But just who were the ones in the third party?  
  
"Your parents, your sister, your grandmother, your aunt and the tenants from Hinata Sou." Rawan answered, causing Keitaro to pale.  
  
"It's worse then I feared..." Keitaro muttered, swallowing nervously. He'd only expected the tenants, perhaps along with Haruka, as well as his parents, not Kanako and grandma. This was worse then he'd feared. "How soon can you get me out of the country?" he asked.  
  
"Where do you wish to go?" Rawan inquired curiously.  
  
"Anywhere that's not here." Keitaro replied.  
  
'Not here', was good. Going from 'here' to 'not here' as soon as humanly possible, was better.  
  
"Well, we haven't been on our honeymoon yet. I was thinking Hawaii. What do you think about that, Keitaro?" Kaolla asked, her head popping out of a nearby bush, startling the hell out of Keitaro. Rawan took it in his stride, however.  
  
"Sure. Fine. Whatever." Keitaro agreed enthusiastically, not really hearing anything other then Hawaii. "Can we go now?" he pleaded anxiously.  
  
"Sure thing, honey! Rawan, have the jet prepared, would you? And get a car ready to take us to the airport. Have the prisoners released once we're in the air." Kaolla ordered, clambering out of the bush and brushing leaves off her clothes.  
  
"It shall be as you say, Princess." Rawan agreed, bowing faintly to her Royal Highness, Su Kaolla, then again, to his Royal Highness, Su Keitaro.  
  


* * *

  
  
"Master." a woman stated, opening the door to the small, cramped office.  
  
"Yes, Miss Doughcent?" the evil mastermind responded.  
  
"Cashdollar." Miss Cashdollar reminded her absent-minded evil employer. Of course, her tight white top, generous cleavage, firm nipples pushing outwards towards the tight top, bare midriff, an indecently short black miniminiminiskirt, polka-dot panties peeking out from underneath the miniminiminiskirt and nylons sensuously clinging to her well-shaped legs, might have something to do with his complete incapability to recall her name whenever she was physically present.  
  
"Of course, Miss Greenpound." he agreed, his gaze going from chest to groin area, never stopping long at any one point, before moving on to the next and then back again, in a never-ending cycle.  
  
"Never mind." she sighed. "Prince Su survived the bombing. Unfortunately, we now have reports stating that the princess jet is being prepared and our mole reports that the newlyweds are going on their honeymoon."  
  
"What?! Are you certain, Miss Buckyen?" the evil mastermind demanded.  
  
"We have confirmed it, yes." she repeated, rubbing her temples.  
  
"Prepare our jet and scramble the assassins, Miss Clamcrown. We're going on a little journey!" the evil mastermind exclaimed.  
  
"We don't have a jet, Master. Nor any more assassins. Budget cuts." Miss Cashdollar explained. "I'll find out where they're going and get us some tickets."  
  
"Very well, Miss Greasemark." the evil mastermind replied, jumping up onto his chair and putting his right foot onto the desk, pointing his right arm straight ahead. "We will rid the world of the unwholesome beast who dared to sully my Princess. Then I can marry her and we'll live happily ever after, having 2,4 kids and a nice house with a little picket fence. And a dog, a Shetland Sheepdog!" he gushed.  
  
"Wouldn't you rather live in the royal palace?" Miss Cashdollar asked curiously.  
  
"The palace! Yes, of course! We'll live in the house on the summers." the evil mastermind responded, amending his scheme somewhat. "And she'll bake me cakes and I'll eat them and I'll compliment her and she'll blush cutely and then we can hold hands as we watch the sunset..." he ranted happily.  
  
"I'll go order those tickets now, master." she said and turned around. "Don't trip and fall off the desk again, master." Miss Cashdollar advised as she made her way back out of the office.  
  
BARUMPH CRASH  
  
"Never mind..." Miss Cashdollar muttered as she seated herself at her desk and got to work.  
  


* * *

  
  
"Ahhh... Safe!" Keitaro exclaimed as he stepped off the plane in Hawaii.  
  
"Ahhh... Honeymoon!" Kaolla exclaimed as she stopped next to him, wrapping an arm around him.  
  
"Ack! Not safe!" Keitaro exclaimed and took several steps side-ways, twisting out of her grasp.  
  
"Calm down, hubby. I 'aint gonna bite ya." Kaolla said and smiled at him. "But we are just married, we are on a vacation together to an exotic location. Weather you want to admit it or not, we are on our honeymoon."  
  
"But..." Keitaro started, then sighed and rubbed both his temples. "Things have been so busy, that I haven't actually had time to ask you what you think of all this yet. Why did you go along with this whole marriage thing?" Keitaro inquired, deciding to ask a question that had been heavy on his mind ever since Queen Tamawa announced that there would be a wedding.  
  
"I like you, Keitaro." Kaolla admitted without hesitation. "You're fun to be with, you're always very kind to everybody, weather they deserve such kindness or not, you are determined, you're very comfy to sleep with and you're very cute."  
  
"You... Have a crush on me?" Keitaro asked with a tone of disbelief in his voice. "That's why you married me?"  
  
"Please, give me some credit here, Keitaro. I'm not like Shinobu, with her constant hero worship of you that causes her to view everything about you with rose-colored glasses." Kaolla responded. "I like her and she is my friend, but if you're looking for someone with a schoolgirl crush on you, look no further then Shinobu. I like you, nothing more, nothing less. I might even love you, but I'll get back to you on that later when I've had some time to find out for sure." she continued and looked over at Keitaro with an oddly mature look on her young face. "A crush is not the reason I married you. What I feel certainly isn't true love either, at least not yet. But, I think that one day, it could be. That was why I was willing to go along with the wedding. Well, that and there were some other reasons too, which made the whole arrangement an offer that I just couldn't turn down."  
  
"Other reaso... Oh, that thing your brother... Cousin... Adopted brother... That Lu Lamba, mentioned about you being his fiancée?" Keitaro responded as the two of them strolled into the waiting limousine, while the stewardesses packed the royal couples' luggage in the trunk.  
  
"That is one of the reasons, yeah. I love my brother, don't get me wrong. But it isn't a marrying kind of love and I doubt that it ever will be. He watched me grow up, Keitaro. He's been around me for as long as I can remember. I love Lamba in ways I'll probably never love anyone else, but I don't want to marry him. Not now, not ever." Kaolla explained, then grinned. "Besides, Amalla has a crush on him, so she would have resented me for it if I had married him. Now she's free to make a move, unless she changes her mind."  
  
"That sort of thing doesn't bother you?" Keitaro inquired as he tried to picture himself together with his own adopted sister Kanako. The imagery was... Disturbing.  
  
While he could privately in his own mind admit that Kanako was a pretty girl and probably only would have become even more so since last he saw her, there wasn't anything in him that made the notion of a liaison with her an attractive one. He could certainly understand why Kaolla wasn't interested in marrying her adoptive brother. What he couldn't understand, was that Amalla seemed to be.  
  
"If that floats her boat, that's her business. I love both of them and if they can make each other happy, then hey, go for it I say." Kaolla replied after a few moments. "Our laws doesn't prevent it and there are several precedents of marriages within the immediate family in the last fifty years. Not many, but it happens." he added with a faint shrug, then smiled again. "Anyway, I'm happy to have married you, Keitaro. You're a good man and I hope to be a good wife to you."  
  
"You seem... Different." Keitaro observed.  
  
"You're my husband. I see no reason to pretend before you any longer. At least not in private." Kaolla replied and looked uncomfortable for a few moments. "I'm intelligent, Keitaro. Very much so. But I'm also still a child, there are so many more things I want to do then spend my days being poked and prodded at, whenever I'm not studying. I've seen what happens to other kids who share my situation and I've never wanted that to happen to me. So, I've played it down. I do well in school, very well in fact, but not as well as I could. I always make sure to make a few errors, not to answer the questions as well as I really can and the few times someone has sat me down with an IQ test, I've done the same." Kaolla explained with a pained expression.  
  
"That way, I'm still allowed to be a kid and if I feel like studying some more and get into more advanced topics, I can do so on my own without being forced to do so." she continued with a morose expression. "And all I have to do, is to lie about myself to everyone I know." she finished.  
  
"But... Surely there's nobody that can force you to..." Keitaro started, only to be cut off with a short laugh.  
  
"You have met Tamawa-mom, haven't you? Don't let yourself be fooled, Keitaro. My stepfather is the king, but my birth mother is the one that really calls the shots. If she found out that she's got a genius for a daughter, she'd have me whisked away to some elite school for gifted children before I could open my mouth to protest." Kaolla explained. "She, and the whole marry-my-own-brother-thing, are the reasons why I wanted to go abroad to study. I love my family, Keitaro. Being separated from them is almost more then I can bear, sometimes. That's why I have my nightmares, that's why I'm subconsciously searching for something to latch onto while I sleep. But it's a necessary evil. When I'm sixteen, I'll be an adult in the eyes of our laws. But until then, it's better that I'm not around, to lessen the chances of being discovered for what I really am."  
  
"It just seems... Wrong, somehow." Keitaro interjected.  
  
"I'm lying to my family, my best friends and just about everyone I know about who I am. Of course it's wrong." Kaolla agreed. "You know. I think Amara-mom knows, but I'm not sure. Dad probably knows as well, I think he's the same as me, but never bothered to let anyone know about it the way I plan to."  
  
"Your... Dad?" Keitaro commented, having a hard time joining the image of the laid-back ruler of Molmol with his own mental image of a genius. /Kaolla's step-dad./ he reminded himself. The family tree of the Royal family of Molmol was a complicated one.  
  
"He didn't become king by lazing about on the couch all day long, y'know. Nor did he attract and manage to convince two women to marry him by sheer luck either. No, I'm certain that he's a lot more cleaver then he lets on." she explained.  
  
"Uh. I have another question..." Keitaro said, swallowing before hastily continuing. "You don't have to answer unless you want to."  
  
"I don't want our marriage to be all about secrets, Keitaro. Ask whatever you want and I will answer to the best of my ability." Kaolla replied.  
  
"You've been... Ah... Very amorous, lately. Now, when there's no escape, you're not. I was wondering... Ah... Eh... Why that is..." Keitaro muttered, just barely loud enough for Kaolla to hear what he was asking.  
  
"Oh." she commented, then smirked. "Would you like me to be?" she asked.  
  
"Ah! Eh! No!" Keitaro blurted out. "I was just curious..." he muttered.  
  
"Sorry." Kaolla said and her smirk changed to a friendly smile. "It's more or less the same reasons as why I'm always fooling around. It's a lot of fun and it helps people from seeing the 'real' me. I'm also curious, of course. But it's mainly the first two. You can consider it an honor of sorts, I guess. If you had been any other man, I never would have dared to act like that, just in case you might actually take me up on my advances. Something I'm not ready for just yet." she explained and gazed fondly at Keitaro.  
  
"I wonder if you realize just how precious you are, Keitaro. If you have any inclination at all of just how unique you are. Any other man, would have leapt at the merest hint of an opportunity. You, do not even when it's thrown right in your face." Kaolla continued and reached out to gently caress Keitaro's cheek. "If you want me to, I'll stop pretending that I want to jump your bones the first chance I get. But you don't have to worry about it though. I'm not ready and when I am ready, I wouldn't approach you like that. It's all pretence for the galleries." Kaolla explained. "And since there isn't a gallery around us at the moment, there's no need for pretence." she finished, nodding at the privacy screen cutting them off from the driver and bodyguard.  
  
Keitaro wasn't all that comfortable with the last addition, but figured that it was just something he would have to accept as part of the package that was his new princely life. They were discreet, but ever since he had agreed to the wedding, there had almost constantly been at least one bodyguard around. He could hardly wait to get back to the Hinata Sou, but as his new married status entitled him to a Princehood and a future kinghood, there was certain ceremonies to deal with before he could return to Japan.  
  
Ceremonies which would now be even further delayed due to the impromptu vacation.  
  
He shuddered at the thought of an immediate confrontation with his mother. The notion of seeing the tenants at Hinata Sou before they had a chance to calm down, was also a very intimidating idea. Hopefully, things would have calmed down some by the time they were back in Japan.  
  
"Well, I guess if it helps, there's no need for you to stop." Keitaro replied after a few moments hesitation, once his mind got back on track from the little diversion it had taken.  
  
"Thank you, Keitaro. I appreciate it, and not just because it helps to hide the real me. Like I said, it's also a great deal of fun." Kaolla responded and smiled at him. "Do you have any idea of how cute you are, when you are flustered?" she purred, leaning in closer with a hungry look in her eyes.  
  
"Ah!" Keitaro exclaimed and jerked away.  
  
"See? Oh, it's priceless!" Kaolla laughed and leaned back, reaching over and caressing his cheek again. "I can certainly see now what Amara-mom has talked about all these years. It's a lot of fun to have a boyfriend to tease. Of course, she always wanted me to have more then one, but I think you'll keep me busy enough." she murmured with a sweet, friendly, smile.  
  
"Jesh, you scared me there for a moment." Keitaro exclaimed, laughing sheepishly at himself.  
  
"Take it easy, Keitaro. I'm not gonna jump your bones anytime soon." Kaolla laughed, then adopted a more serious expression. "I would like a kiss or two, however." she explained, then studied his shocked expression for a few moments, before she sighed. "Whenever you are ready for it." she added, then her expression turned more wistful. "Think about it, please? I would like a kiss from my husband one of these days. A real one, not something like the stiff, brief, pseudo-kiss at our wedding."  
  
"Ah... I don't thi... Eh... Well... Eh... I... Ah... I will... Think about it." Keitaro stuttered out in response to her request.  
  
"You do that." Kaolla agreed and leaned over to rest her head on his shoulder. "Just don't..." she began, then sighed and fell silent, unwilling to press an obviously sensitive issue any further with her new husband and risk undoing the good that had come out of this conversation. Now she was actually allowed to rest her head on his shoulders. After she started her amorous campaign, Keitaro had switched to actively avoiding her. That had made her reconsider and decided to reveal the truth to Keitaro, her new husband and that seemed to have eased his fears somewhat.  
  
Husband...  
  
It was an odd feeling, being married. She had always known that a marriage was in her future and that she didn't have much choice in the matter. She knew that Tamawa-mom had been planning her wedding for a long time. The day before her sixteenth birthday, the day before she became an adult in the eyes of the law of her country, she would have married her brother, to legitimize the line of succession. She didn't think the people really cared, but Tamawa-mom was a traditionalistic person. She cared and probably assumed that everyone else did as well.  
  
If something should have happened to her brother, if one of the countless assassination attempts had actually worked, another groom would have been found from some prestigious family with valuable connections and/or resources and Amalla would have been next in line for ruler of the country.  
  
Kaolla had never expected to get to marry out of love. And now she had...  
  
Perhaps. She still wasn't sure.  
  
She glanced aside and up at Keitaro, her husband.  
  
She had told him that she wasn't certain if it was love or not. She wondered if that had really been the truth. Did she love him? Perhaps.  
  
What was love? Did she know? She wasn't certain.  
  
She might be more intelligent then just about anyone she had ever met, but she was still young. Her body had a lot of growing left to do. Her emotions had a lot of growing left to do. Until that was over and done with, could she know?  
  
The marriage wasn't a question about a crush, she had said. And it hadn't been. The fact that she probably had a bit of crush on Keitaro hadn't been a factor, just a nice bonus to the entire package deal.  
  
Would the crush last? Perhaps. Perhaps not.  
  
Could it develop into something deeper, more true, more lasting? Probably. She had no doubts whatsoever that Keitaro was the sort of man she could fall for. Someone she could fall deep, hard and fast for. He was that sort of person. It wasn't for nothing, that he had the love of just about everyone at the Hinata Sou, weather the persons involved wanted to admit it or not.  
  
Naru probably never would admit to it without extensive therapy to help her get over various issues. Her fear of intimacy and fear of getting hurt, were just too deeply ingrained in her. Kitsune wouldn't speak up or make a move, not a real one, as she too could see that Naru had a thing for Keitaro. Shinobu didn't have the guts to speak up or make a move, besides, Kaolla didn't think that it was real love in that particular case. It was probably more like a really devastating crush. Motoko liked him as well, no doubt about it. But she fought against her emotions tooth and nail, resisting them every stretch of the way. Though she could in time, perhaps, overcome that problem.  
  
Motoko was a strong and mature person in lots of other areas and Kaolla greatly admired her for it. Even if Motoko's emotional maturity left a lot to be desired. If she ever grew up a bit on the emotional side, Kaolla suspected that Motoko might actually have been able to admit what she was feeling and even make a move based on that. If she still felt it, that was. Kaolla suspected that Motoko's emotional growth would have taken a while and there was no telling if her feelings would be the same after that.  
  
It didn't matter much now, however. He was hers now and she wasn't about to let him go without one hell of a fight. She pondered the fact that she had forced him into a marriage that she wasn't ready to consummate just yet, wondering what she would say, do and think if he had an affair with one of the others.  
  
Or considering her wicked ways, with Amara-mom. That certainly was a possibility, as Amara-mom wasn't known to take no for an answer, wasn't known for caring much about the sanctity of marriage and her negotiation skills were second to none. Come to think of it, it had probably been she who finally managed to convince Tamawa-mom to enter a cluster marriage.  
  
The notion of Keitaro being with anyone else, did not sit right with her. It made her stomach churn and she felt her mood taking a dip. However, she couldn't, or rather wouldn't, sleep with him just yet. She knew that he had been itching for a girlfriend for quite some time and she didn't think it was just for holding hands and kissing in the sunset either.  
  
Considering his personality, she didn't think it all that likely that he'd cheat on her. Most likely, he would stay true to their marriage until such time that she was ready to consummate it and even then he might balk at it, unless she was really persuasive. But did she really want her first time to be with a severely sexually frustrated virgin?  
  
She shuddered at the notion, vividly recalling some of the, supposed, first-hand accounts of the experience she had read about or overheard around the palace. She did not want a repetition of some she had heard about. But...  
  
She sighed and pulled her legs up underneath her, curling up on the back seat of the car, cuddling up against Keitaro. She didn't want Keitaro to resent her for forcing him into a nookie-less-marriage either. Or, at the very least one that started out like that. Once she was ready, she had a feeling that the marriage would be anything but nookie-less.  
  
She had offered to let Amara-mom 'test-drive' Keitaro for a bit, earlier. Though her careless statement hadn't been seriously meant at the time, perhaps she should allow just that? Amara-mom was certainly more qualified to educate Keitaro in the art of lovemaking then anyone else Kaolla had ever met.  
  
Kitsune would probably agree to such a thing as well, though Kaolla didn't believe that the older girl was anywhere near as experienced as she seemed to hint at on occasion. In fact, Kaolla privately suspected that Kitsune was still a virgin. Or at least, that she hadn't done it more then possibly once.  
  
She would have some thinking to do on this matter before she would be ready to make a decision about it.  
  
But that would have to come later, because she was on her honeymoon now and was just itching for the chance to have some fun before they would have to return for the Week of Ceremonies.  
  
The End! ( For now... )  
  



	5. Five

Su Kaolla - With a license to thrill 

Su Kaolla - With a license to thrillPG-13   
Niklas "Hawk" Jonsson 

Summary: The Crimson Moon is about to appear and the time for Kaolla's change is imminent. Amalla remembers about it in time and Kaolla is called back home, to ensure that the foreigners she's living about doesn't find out about her condition. However, Kaolla believes that she might be bored without her usual playmates around and thus arranges for Keitaro to go to Molmol with her, which causes all kinds of havoc!

Disclaimer: Love Hina, Hinata Sou and whatnot are not mine, though I certainly wish they were. The story is mine though, all mine.

Feedback/Flames: Yes, please. Both of them are equally fun to read, although I must admit that I greatly prefer the first variety. :)   
I can be found on ICQ as 21771860 or through e-mail as , more stories are available at my nifty lil' site at or by clicking on my handle up above.

"speech"   
emphasis/shouts/Kindred Domination/post-hypnotic triggers   
/thoughts/   
/telepathy/   
translation   
soundeffect/radio/telephone conversation/TV

Previously, on 'Su Kaolla - With a license to thrill' 

She sighed and pulled her legs up underneath her, curling up on the back seat of the car, cuddling up against Keitaro. She didn't want Keitaro to resent her for forcing him into a nookie-less-marriage either. Or, at the very least one that started out like that. Once she was ready, she had a feeling that the marriage would be anything but nookie-less.

She had offered to let Amara-mom 'test-drive' Keitaro for a bit, earlier. Though her careless statement hadn't been seriously meant at the time, perhaps she should allow just that? Amara-mom was certainly more qualified to educate Keitaro in the art of lovemaking then anyone else Kaolla had ever met.

Kitsune would probably agree to such a thing as well, though Kaolla didn't believe that the older girl was anywhere near as experienced as she seemed to hint at on occasion. In fact, Kaolla privately suspected that Kitsune was still a virgin. Or at least, that she hadn't done it more then possibly once.

She would have some thinking to do on this matter before she would be ready to make a decision about it.

But that would have to come later, because she was on her honeymoon now and was just itching for the chance to have some fun before they would have to return for the Week of Ceremonies.

Roll credits 

* * *

Chapter Five:

"Ah, so you're the friends of my daughter and my new son-in-law." a tall tanned man in a western-style pin-striped suit commented as he strode into the room, accompanied by a serene-looking equally tanned man dressed in an elaborate robe. The first one was smoking a huge cigar and lazily took in everybody in the room. "Ah, hello, granny." he added as he spotted Grandma Hina amongst the others.

"Your majesty." she greeted him, with a faint curtsy. "It's nice to see you again." she added.

"No need for that sort of thing, granny." he admonished her and took a hit from his cigar. "I'm afraid that you've missed son-in-law and my youngest daughter. They've already left on their honeymoon." he added and smiled. "Might have been a mistake, as my wives have probably started plotting how to end their marriage already." he finished with a wry chuckle.

"What?" Kanako exclaimed, a hopeful note in her voice as she gazed at the king with an eager expression. "He's getting a divorce?"

"The judges are still out on that. Our laws doesn't technically allow for divorces, but if you look deep enough into the books, one can find a precedent for almost anything." the king commented. "And Tamawa can be very effective, once she sets her mind on a particular goal."

"Why are your wives pushing for a divorce?" Grandma Hina inquired.

"Tamawa misunderstood an innocent comment from Kaolla and took it to mean that she'd had sex with son-in-law. So, she made him promise to 'be responsible'. She arranged the whole marriage and only afterwards, found out that no such act had taken place." the king replied, accompanied by various gasps, angry exclamations and relieved sighs from his audience. "Now when she realises that Kaolla didn't have to marry a foreigner without resources, influence and/or valuable connections, she's no doubt plotting to dissolve the marriage in some way." he continued, then laughed. "And Amara is no doubt going along with it, because she believes that it will increase her chances to have sex with son-in-law, who has so far managed to elude succumbing to her perverted viles." he finished with a bemused chuckle, as the accompanying gasps appeared again.

"I suppose you oppose this?" Grandma Hina inquired.

"In my own ways, yes." the king commented with a faint smile. "I have the greatest respect for son-in-law. Even though he was innocent of what he was accused of, he promised to make things right and went ahead with the marriage as not to sully Kaolla's reputation. He's a good man. I've spoken with Kaolla about him and she likes him as well, I think he'll make her happy. It's certainly an improvement over Kaolla having to marry her own brother, as would have been the case had this not happened." he explained and nodded towards Grandma Hina. "I see a lot of you in him. The very same qualities in you, that made me agree to let Kaolla stay at your fine establishment, are present in son-in-law as well. He is a very kind and caring individual. Very pure, loyal and innocent, as well. I don't believe I've ever seen another straight man managing to avoid Amara's tender mercies for as long as he has."

"That pervert?" Naru snorted dismissively, shaking his head. "He peeks, he gropes, he fondles..." she groused, absently adjusting her clothes and blushing faintly as she recalled many previous incidents involving herself and Keitaro.

"I find that hard to believe." the king commented with a raised eyebrow. "The night before the wedding, Chancellor Rawan here heard raised voices from within Kaolla's suite. He entered to examine the situation and found son-in-law having climbed a marble pillar, Kaolla gagged and hog-tied on the floor and my wife Amara naked beneath the pillar, pleading with Keitaro to come down and... What was it she said again, Rawan?" he inquired, turning to face the man who had been silent up until then.

"Queen Amara entreated Prince Su to descend, so that he could... Hrm... 'Sow your wild oats before the wedding and experience the sensual ecstasy that only a woman of my calibre can provide you with.'." Rawan replied, then a hint of a blush appeared on his cheeks. "The Queen then noticed my presence and offered me daily blowjobs for the rest of the month, if I took out my gun and scared Prince Su into descending from his lofty perch." he finished.

"Yes, that was it." the king agreed and turned back to Naru. "Does that sound like the actions of a perverted molester? Wait.. Let me rephrase that. Does Keitaro's actions sound anything like those one might expect from a perverted molester?"

"Ha! That's our Keitaro all right!" Kitsune laughed, slapping Naru's back. "He's almost as terrified of intimacy as you are, Naru." she added.

"I'm not te..." Naru protested, but stopped in mid-sentence. "I'm not." she groused under her breath.

"Where is nephew now?" Haruka inquired.

"Hawaii." the king replied, polishing the nails of his right hand on his rumpled suit. "Daughter and son-in-law decided that a honeymoon was in order." he added with a faint smile.

"A honeymoon?! That pervert took my best friend to Hawaii?!" Sarah exclaimed.

"Be at peace, little one." the king advised. "My daughter can take care of herself and I doubt that she's ready for anything like what you believe is taking place between the two of them. Until such time as she herself decides that it's time to consummate the marriage, I doubt anything you would label 'perverted' will be taking place. Son-in-law is not the sort of man who would force unwanted attentions upon a woman."

"Well he did... But he said that was an accident... But he... No, that was probably an accident as well... But how about when... No, he really could have tripped on those rocket-propelled skates... Or when... No, Motoko's attack threw him at me... There was that time when... No, not then either..." Naru said, trailing off after each time she began to state a case in which Keitaro had acted perverted, slowly coming to the realisation that there hadn't been a single perverted incident that she could recall, in which he had been perverted by choice.

There was that time he had nearly kissed her while she was sleeping, but while it was presumptuous of him, it wasn't a truly perverted act. Besides, he had stopped himself before going so far as to actually kiss her.

"You mean to tell me, that he's been married to Su for three days and still haven't... Uhm... Eh... Consummated the marriage?" Motoko inquired after a few moments, a furious blush on her face.

"He has not." Rawan agreed.

"How do you know?" Motoko countered.

"Chancellor Rawan is in charge of security. Had the marriage been consummated, it would have shown up on at least one of the security tapes, as they have been accompanied by bodyguards during their few outings away from the palace." the king replied. "And had son-in-law done something to my little girl, I'm quite certain that Rawan would have told me. At least if he values his job." he added, with a pointed look at Rawan.

"I would have, your majesty." Rawan agreed. "But the royal couple haven't even kissed, other then at the ceremony itself." he added.

"See? Nothing to worry about." the king commented. "Son-in-law is an honourable man. He will do well as king of Molmol, once that time comes." he added, then blinked as a potential stumbling block occurred to him. "Assuming he survives his Rite of Ascension, that is." he said, taking a few hits from his cigar as he pondered the matter. "Anyway, the two of them are on their honeymoon and we have decided not to press charges for your recent actions here. You are free to go." he finished and turned to leave.

"Though I would advise not trying to bring bladed weapons into Molmol or voicing threats against a member of the royal family again. Such things tend to be frowned upon." Rawan said and turned to face Motoko. "Your sword will be kept safe here until such time as you decide to leave the country. It will be sent along with your flight, as a diplomatic package. You can reclaim possession of it from our embassy in Tokyo." he finished, then trotted after the king.

"Well, this just plain sucks. We're here and they're not!" Sarah commented upon their situation.

"What are we going to do? I can't afford to follow them to Hawaii!" Naru spoke up, a distressed expression on her face.

"I could, but I would rather not, as that would require dipping into the Dojo's already stretched resources." Motoko said after a few moments.

"Why would you? Let the kids enjoy themselves for a while. Keitaro will be back sooner rather then later, he's a responsible young man. He will not shirk his duties as manager for any longer then absolutely necessary. And Kaolla has school, she will not remain gone for long." Grandma Hina said.

"We can't leave them alone, granny. Who knows what that tramp will do with my brother once they're alone!" Kanako protested.

"Kaolla is a nice girl, Kanako." Grandma Hina protested, shaking her head. "You convinced me to come here and I agreed. Not because I believed either one of those two needed watching, but because you wanted to go and I had yet to experience the hot springs of Molmol. We will not go to Hawaii, at least not until I've sampled the local resorts. By which time grandson and Kaolla will no doubt have returned to Hinata Sou already."

"Tramp?" Sarah repeated, glaring daggers at Kanako. "That's my best friend you're talking about, you freak!" she howled, then stalked towards Kanako with her fist clenched.

Security teams one through five are required in the blue room. Security teams one through five are required in the blue room. was heard over the airports intercom system two minutes later, as the argument slash fight had escalated somewhat from its humble beginning.

* * *

"Miss Cashdollar?" the evil mastermind called.

"Yes, master?" Miss Cashdollar inquired as she poked her head into the doorway to the motel room.

"There is a cockroach in my abode, Miss Dinerosrubel." he informed her, pointing shakily at the critter in question in one corner of the room. She rubbed her temples, as soon as she was nearby, he managed to mangle her name again. She wasn't even inside the room and he had his back to her this time!

"This was all that our budget could allow, after purchasing our supplies." Miss Cashdollar informed her boss. "You will have to bear with it, master." she added, declining to mention that she had surveyed the rooms first, and decided to take the one without a cockroach in it for herself.

"We will have to work quickly, as I have no desire to remain here any longer then strictly necessary." the evil mastermind spat out, striding forward and crushing the annoying critter with his boot-clad foot. "What means of disposal will we employ?" he inquired.

"I think we'll go with the poison." Miss Cashdollar replied after a moment. "I know just the way to use it too." she added, unconsciously adjusting her tight top. No man could resist her charms and nobody ever suspected the innocent-looking bimbo lounging around after somebody had croaked of any wrongdoings.

She smiled, she could even wear her new bikini and get some sun, while working. It was perfect.

* * *

"Mind if I join you?" a sultry voice purred and for a moment, Keitaro thought that Queen Amara had decided to pay them a visit. He yanked the straw hat away from his face and exhaled with relief as he saw that it wasn't her. Then he really took note of just whom it was instead, gaping in shock.

The woman was absolutely stunning and the bikini she wore certainly enhanced that. It was all he could do to prevent himself from drooling as he took in the vision that was standing before him.

"Sure..." he croaked, nodding at the empty chair next to him. As Kaolla had expressed an interest in visiting a nearby research facility to get some ideas for her future inventions, he had elected to stay behind at the hotel instead of spending the entire day being incredibly confused by techno-babble, and was thus currently left to his own devices. He had decided to spend his day relaxing around the pool, recharging his batteries after the incredibly stressful week he had just been through.

"Thank you." the woman drawled and gracefully climbed onto the beach chair, stretching out on her stomach with a pleased sigh and a silence fell over the two of them for a minute, before the woman spoke up again. "Oh! I forgot the sunblock." she exclaimed and rummaged around in the small purse she had brought along, whipping out a bottle of it. "Would you mind rubbing it in? It's kind of hard to get it everywhere it needs to on my own and I wouldn't want to get sunburn." she requested, holding the bottle out towards him.

Keitaro blanched, swallowing nervously several times, before he managed to stutter out his agreement, hoping that it didn't sound as desperately eager as he feared that it did. His hands shook as he accepted the bottle, pouring a dollop into his left hand, before he slowly reached out and started to rub it in, ignorant to Miss Cashdollars feral smirk as he couldn't see her face from where he was standing.

Miss Cashdollar silently cheered. The kid was dead, he just didn't know it yet. She herself had taken the antidote before approaching him, so the poison wouldn't affect her. But he would be dead within the hour.

Of course, she hadn't counted upon the fact that Keitaro was no ordinary man. His inhuman constitution and a supercharged immune system, ensured that he had survived countless incidents that would have killed a lesser man. His immune system swiftly identified the harmful substance as it entered his body through his hands and instantly started working on breaking it down into something less harmful.

The poison was powerful enough that it couldn't be completely neutralised, but at the very least it could be changed enough, that it wasn't lethal or even very harmful.

Of course, the powerful immune system cared little for the fact that the poisons new chemical composition had turned it into a very powerful inhibition-lowering aphrodisiac.

"Hey! The sun won't shine through that." Miss Cashdollar commented a while later, moving a hand down to pluck a rowing hand off her bikini-covered ass.

The kid had guts, she had to give him that. He hadn't seemed like he would have, but appearances could be deceiving, she guessed.

"Hey! What are you doing?" she demanded to know, once she felt his lips brush against the back of her neck.

"Worshipping you, my dear. You are quite lovely, do you know that?" Keitaro inquired. "I'm sorry, but you're so damn beautiful that I just can't control myself." he added, kissing her neck again, taking a whiff of her recently washed hair. "Mmmmm, strawberries... My favourite..." he murmured into one of her ears as Miss Cashdollar found herself increasingly flustered, hoping that the poison would start to work it's magic sooner rather then later!

* * *

"Hiya, Keitaro!" Kaolla greeted her husband as she entered the honeymoon suite, then came to a complete stop as she took note of his dishevelled appearance and bruised face. "Yikes, what happened to you? Did Naru follow us to Hawaii?" she inquired, approaching him and surveying the hand-shaped bruises all over his face.

"No..." Keitaro responded despondently.

"Then... What happened? Did you trip and land someplace indecent on a female kick-boxer or something?" she asked.

"No..." Keitaro replied, wincing as he rubbed his left cheek.

"Then... What?" Kaolla asked.

"Don't wanna talk about it..." Keitaro mumbled, silently grateful for the fact that the diplomatic immunity that apparently came along with his Princehood had prevented him from being saddled with several embarrassing sexual harassment charges.

"Somebody hit you!" Kaolla exclaimed. "What happened?!" she demanded to know.

At the same time, back in Molmol, Rawan made a report to the king regarding some inquiries that had been made by the legal system in the USA. What none of the two men knew, was that there was someone listening in on their conversation.

"So, son-in-law has started to get frisky... Come to think of it, I haven't had a vacation in a long time. I hear Hawaii is nice this time of year..." Queen Amara muttered to herself, as she headed for her private suit to pack for her upcoming trip to Hawaii.

At the same time, in a run-down motel room on Hawaii, Miss Cashdollar was mourning the loss of a perfectly good bikini top and cursing herself for nearly succumbing to the enemy. In the end, she had to run from the Prince who had seemed in remarkably good health for somebody who had just been poisoned. Unfortunately, that meant leaving behind her bikini top which the amorous Prince had somehow managed to get off her during a distracted moment.

Nearby, at a nice hotel, scattered over various rooms in it, various females were nursing sore hands and cursing the groping foreigner who had came after them, wearing a bikini top around his neck and apparently searching for additional trophies. To top it all off, the police that had been called to the scene, had been unable to do take him in as he was apparently some foreign dignitary.

Meanwhile, our hero was currently running with his wife in hot pursuit, who insisted that he wore her newly improved Virtual-kun, so that she could find out just what it was that he wouldn't tell her about the events of his day.

He wondered if there was a nearby zoo, where he might be able to find a tiger to share a few drinks and sleeping quarters with.

All in all, just another day in the eventful lives of Prince and Crown Princess Su.

* * *

"I guess there's no choice. We can't afford to go after them, so we'll have to go back home." Naru sighed, as the group from Hinata Sou stood in line at the airport.

"Yeah." Sarah groused, severely annoyed at having to give up her quest to save Kaolla from Keitaro's perverted clutches.

"Hey. I've seen you guys before. I think... Aren't you Kaolla's friends?" a female voice inquired and the group turned around, coming face to face with an incredibly attractive older woman, followed by two attendants and two bodyguards. "Yes, you are. I recognise you from the pictures she sent. What are you doing in Molmol?" she asked.

"Uh, excuse me, but... Who are you?" Kitsune inquired, wondering just where she had seen the woman before. She looked somewhat familiar, but she just couldn't place her.

"Oh, how rude of me. I'm sorry. I'm Su Amara, Kaolla's step-mother." the woman introduced herself and it finally clicked in Kitsune's mind. The woman had been on TV, during Keitaros wedding. She was one of the Queens of Molmol!

"Your majesty." Kitsune greeted her, curtsying to the woman. "We came to see Keitaro and Kaolla, but they've left the country. So, we're going back home." she explained.

"Yes, they snuck off to Hawaii. Thought he could get away from me, eh? No way!" Amara exclaimed, pumping a fist up into the air. "I'll show him!" she added, then looked speculatively at the group from Hinata Sou. "Say... I've got an idea. Why don't you come with me to Hawaii? I'm going there anyway to sedu... Eh, to see my son-in-law. ... And my daughter, of course." the woman offered.

"We'd love to, but we can't afford it." Kitsune replied.

"Is that all? No worries, I'm taking the royal jet to Hawaii. You can come with me as my guests." Amara offered, then smiled. "And I won't charge you anything for it... Or at least, I won't charge you money for it." she added, slithering up to Kitsune, stroking her cheek. "You're a very sexy little thing, girl. Did you know?" she purred, as her hand moved from Kitsune's cheek down to her breasts. "Well endowed too!" she approved with a sultry grin.

"What are you doing?!" Naru exclaimed, aghast at the Queens improper behaviour.

"Oh, don't fret. I'll do you later if you want." the Queen said, completely focused on Kitsune for now, clinging to the younger girl and rubbing her cheek against Kitsunes in a very Kaolla-like manner. Of course, Kaolla usually settled for rubbing cheeks together, not cheeks and breasts while simultaneously caressing ones butt-cheeks. "Or if you guys are feeling adventurous, I wouldn't mind a three-some."

The End! ( For now... )


	6. Six

Su Kaolla - With a license to thrill PG-13  
Niklas "Hawk" Jonsson 

Summary: The Crimson Moon is about to appear and the time for Kaolla's change is imminent. Amalla remembers about it in time and Kaolla is called back home, to ensure that the foreigners she's living about doesn't find out about her condition. However, Kaolla believes that she might be bored without her usual playmates around and thus arranges for Keitaro to go to Molmol with her, which causes all kinds of havoc!

Disclaimer: Love Hina, Hinata Sou and whatnot are not mine, though I certainly wish they were. The story is mine though, all mine. This story deals with some very unpleasant things. If this disturbs you, don't read.  
If the layout looks screwy or symbols seems to be missing, you're probably reading the quickedit-mangled version of this fic on ff dot net, if it grates on your nerves too much, read it on hawksgalaxy dot com or something.

Feedback/Flames: Yes, please. Both of them are equally fun to read, although I must admit that I greatly prefer the first variety. :)  
I can be found on ICQ as 21771860, MSN Messenger/E-mail as iamhawk at yahoo dot com, though not very frequently as real life lately interferes with my online existance more then I'd like. More stories are available at my nifty lil' site at hawksgalaxy dot com or by clicking on my handle up above.

"speech"  
emphasis/shouts/Kindred Domination/post-hypnotic triggers  
/thoughts/  
/telepathy/  
translation  
+soundeffect/radio/telephone conversation/TV+

Previously, on 'Su Kaolla - With a license to thrill' 

"Hey. I've seen you guys before. I think... Aren't you Kaolla's friends?" a female voice inquired and the group turned around, coming face to face with an incredibly attractive older woman, followed by two attendants and two bodyguards. "Yes, you are. I recognise you from the pictures she sent. What are you doing in Molmol?" she asked.

"Uh, excuse me, but... Who are you?" Kitsune inquired, wondering just where she had seen the woman before. She looked somewhat familiar, but she just couldn't place her.

"Oh, how rude of me. I'm sorry. I'm Su Amara, Kaolla's step-mother." the woman introduced herself and it finally clicked in Kitsune's mind. The woman had been on TV, during Keitaros wedding. She was one of the Queens of Molmol!

"Your majesty." Kitsune greeted her, curtsying to the woman. "We came to see Keitaro and Kaolla, but they've left the country. So, we're going back home." she explained.

"Yes, they snuck off to Hawaii. Thought he could get away from me, eh? No way!" Amara exclaimed, pumping a fist up into the air. "I'll show him!" she added, then looked speculatively at the group from Hinata Sou. "Say... I've got an idea. Why don't you come with me to Hawaii? I'm going there anyway to sedu... Eh, to see my son-in-law. ... And my daughter, of course." the woman offered.

"We'd love to, but we can't afford it." Kitsune replied.

"Is that all? No worries, I'm taking the royal jet to Hawaii. You can come with me as my guests." Amara offered, then smiled. "And I won't charge you anything for it... Or at least, I won't charge you money for it." she added, slithering up to Kitsune, stroking her cheek. "You're a very sexy little thing, girl. Did you know?" she purred, as her hand moved from Kitsune's cheek down to her breasts. "Well endowed too!" she approved with a sultry grin.

"What are you doing!" Naru exclaimed, aghast at the Queens improper behaviour.

"Oh, don't fret. I'll do you later if you want." the Queen said, completely focused on Kitsune for now, clinging to the younger girl and rubbing her cheek against Kitsunes in a very Kaolla-like manner. Of course, Kaolla usually settled for rubbing cheeks together, not cheeks and breasts while simultaneously caressing ones butt-cheeks. "Or if you guys are feeling adventurous, I wouldn't mind a three-some."

Roll credits 

* * *

Chapter Six:

"Hey, Rawan. Where are my sister and new brother-in-law?" Amalla inquired, after having searched the entire palace, without finding neither hide or hair from either of them. And Razor had reclaimed his favourite sleeping spot on Kaolla's bed, which usually meant that she was no longer around the palace.

"They have left on their honeymoon to Hawaii, Princess." Rawan politely replied, lowering the AK-47 he had been using to blast targets on the royal target range.

"Ah." Amalla commented, then cleared her throat. "Has anyone taken care to inform brother-in-law about Kaolla's imminent change?"

"... Ah. No." Rawan replied after a few moments of stunned silence, astonished at himself for forgetting to deal with something as important as that. He whipped out his palmtop and blanched as he noted that there would be a crimson moon tomorrow night. "Thank you for reminding me, Princess. I shall deal with this right away."

"Thank you, Rawan." Amalla said, then blushed faintly. "You wouldn't happen to know where brother is, do you?" she asked.

"He's inspecting the troops and overseeing the preparations for the Week of Ceremonies." Rawan replied, glancing down at his palmtop again. "I believe you will find him at the second air division airfield for the next seventy-three minutes, after that, he will be going to the parade grounds at the southern gate to ensure that the deadline will be kept and that the decorations are adequate."

"Oh. Thank you very much, Rawan." Amalla said, then skipped away, heading for the royal garage. Rawan nodded to himself, jotted down a few hastily scribbled words on his palmtop, then whipped out his cell. "Fallona, Princess Amalla is going for a drive to the second air division. Prepare one of the cars, a driver and two bodyguards for her. Over." he instructed the mistress of the royal garage, before he put his gadgets away and raised the assault rifle again. As he stepped into the stall and bumped his hip against an activate-button, two cardboard mecha-tamas V0.7 popped up further down the range.

Tackatackatacatackatackatacatackatack+

The two cardboard targets suddenly sported several holes in sensitive areas between armoured plates, underneath which sensitive key components could be found on a real mecha-tama V0.7. Another cardboard cut-out popped up and Rawan instantly identified it as a V0.2, shifting his aim to a thinly armoured area around the right 'eye', behind which the main central processing unit could be found on the real deal, blasting three holes right where he had aimed with a controlled three-round-burst.

Royal Chancellor in Molmol was a rather unique position requirering a wide array of unusual skills and a highly organized mind, but at least he was never bored.

* * *

"Look! It's the pervert!" a female voice exclaimed and Keitaro sighed, looking down at the ground with a shameful dejected expression.

"What was it that you did yesterday!" Kaolla asked, looking up at her depressed husband. Despite her best efforts, she hadn't been able to catch up with him and shove the improved Virtual-kun onto his head. He'd evaded her all evening and when she woke up in the morning, he'd flushed the device down the toilet after reducing it to pieces with a hammer. "That was the fifth girl so far who accused you of being a pervert. Your reputation couldn't have reached this far, could it?"

"Look! That's the guy I was telling you about. Now he's moved on to teenagers!" another woman exclaimed, pointing Keitaro out to the group she was walking with.

"Sixth..." Kaolla murmured as she upgraded the count, poking Keitaro in the ribs. "Come ooooooooon! Tell me!" she insisted.

"Dunnwannatalkaboutit..." Keitaro muttered, fiercely embarrassed and completely clueless as to why he'd behaved the way he had. Sure, he was a twenty-one year old virgin, but he'd never behaved like that before! Not even while roaring drunk, had he ever done more then look a little longer at interesting body parts then he otherwise would have. And yesterday, he'd been stone cold sober! He hadn't even looked at any alcoholic beverages prior to his horny rampage through the hotel grounds!

"Son-in-law! I've found you!" a cheerful voice interjected and Keitaro stiffened, in more then one way, as he recognized the sensual voice of Queen Amara.

"Oh no..." he mumbled under his breath.

"If you were horny, you should have called me! I wouldn't have tried to run away like those prudes yesterday!" Amara exclaimed as she skipped over towards them, her ample attributes bouncing in the skimpy neon green bikini she was wearing, a couple of sombrely dressed bodyguards following in her wake.

"Oh no..." Keitaro repeated, as Kaolla looked up at him with a surprised look on her face, mouthing 'horny' and 'those prudes yesterday' to herself.

"Unless it's the chase that you like, of course! Then I'd run, though not too fast. I wouldn't want to risk you not being able to catch up with me." Amara continued and launched herself at him, wrapping her arms around his neck as she slammed into him, nearly knocking him off his feet. "And if you wanted bikini trophies, all you had to do was ask me!" she cheerfully added, affectionately licking his neck with great gusto.

"Keitarooooooooo..." another female voice added in a low growl.

"Urashimaaaaaaaa..." a second mirrored the first in a feral snarl.

"Oh no..." Keitaro repeated again. He knew those two voices. And he knew that they heralded a lot of pain for him in the near future.

"Naru! Motoko! Shinobu! Kitsune! Sarah! Haruka!" Kaolla exclaimed as she spotted her friends from the Hinata Sou, striding up towards them in the wake of Amara-mom and her bodyguards. "Hiyas!" she cheerfully greeted them. /Too late for all of you now, he's mine now. All mine/

"Oh no..." Keitaro kept on saying, shaking his head in denial.

"Naru-punch!" Naru cried out as she launched her signature attack.

"Red Lotus Fist!" Motoko bellowed at the same time, launching one of her Ki-laced unarmed attacks in the absence of her sword which was heading towards Japan at this very moment due to the interference of the King.

"Ahyaaaa!" Amara exclaimed, letting go of Keitaro and ducking under the two punches, just barely managing to avoid being caught up in her new son-in-laws airborne antics as Keitaro was launched through the air, sailing up and slamming into the hotel, crashing through a window on the seventh floor.

"AH! A PERVERT! ON MY VACCATION! MARS FIRE!" came a loud cry from the hotel, before a burst of red-hot fire came out of the broken window, followed by a charred looking Keitaro who slammed down on the ground, in the very same spot he'd became airborne from.

"Hello everyone..." Keitaro mumbled into the ground, not bothering to get up, as that would just give the girls a bigger target to attack.

* * *

"MMRRRRRrrrrrr." Razor approved, roughly meaning 'Oh, I could get used to this!', as he reclined on top of Kaollas bed, stretching out his tired body and allowing the excitement of the last couple of days to fade away. Things were so much more peaceful when Kaolla wasn't around the den and he intended to make the most of this restful period. One never knew when the tiny pup would return and make his life a living disaster zone. "MMRRRRRrrrrrr!" he added, which basically translates to 'Tiny female alpha! Because of you, I've seen hell!'.

Despite this statement, Razor is in no way, shape or manner related to Hibiki Ryoga.

Though the two had met on several occasions, as Ryogas habit to pop up in random places had made their paths cross from time to time.

* * *

"... then we decided to take a brief vacation before the Week of Ceremonies and well, here we are." Kaolla finished her tale and Keitaro promised himself that he'd never EVER underestimate his exotic wife again. She'd just spent the last half hour explaining everything that had happened since she left for Molmol with him in tow, managing to somehow lie to their friends without ever telling a single untruth. Everything she said was, techniqually, true. But the way she said it, always made the others misinterpret what she said.

Normally, he would have berated her for this, but as it served to put a much better spin on the whole situation and painted him in a significantly more favourable light, he decided to let it slide, just this once.

"So this pervert had nothing to do with the marriage?" Naru demanded to know.

"No, not really. Tamawa-mom misunderstood me, that was all." Kaolla insisted.

"So he hasn't..." Motoko started, but trailed off, as she couldn't bring herself to finish the sentence.

"Did you want to examine me to see if I'm still a virgin?" Kaolla inquired, assuming the same innocent expression she used whenever she posed a 'tasty' question. "No problem!" she continued, as Motoko flushed considerably and spluttered protests. "Here!" she exclaimed and grabbed the hem of her skirt, making as if to pull it up.

"NO!" Motoko hollered, a wild look in her eyes. "I'll... I'll take your word for it. Please, let me take your word for it!"

"Okies!" Kaolla cheerfully agreed, smiling happily as she let go of the dress. /Gotcha, Mo-chan.../

* * *

"Kaolla. Could you please ask your mother to stop fondling him?" Naru asked in a somewhat strained tone of voice. "It's disgusting." she added.

They had headed back to the hotel and seated themselves around a table on the veranda, Kaolla ordering a round of drinks for all of them. Being royalty had it's perks she reasoned, as she sipped from a Long Island Tea with a banana stuck into the glass.

"Aw, but he's so cute! I just can't help myself." Amara exclaimed cheerfully from Keitaro's right side, her left hand caressing Keitaro's thigh while the other nursed a colourful drink with a pink umbrella stuck into the glass.

"Amara-mom, he's mine, remember? I get to do him first." Kaolla interjected from the other side of Keitaro, slipping her right hand down on his other thigh.

"But you're taking such a long time to do it!" Amara complained with a frustrated expression. "It's been several days since you got married. Can't you just ravage him and be done with it, so I can see if he's as tasty as he looks?"

"I betcha you're happy now, you pervert!" Naru suddenly exclaimed, pointing an accusing finger at Keitaro, who looked up at her with such a miserable expression on his face that she fell silent and sat back down, already regretting her hasty accusation.

"When we do it, is entirely up to us. You will just have to wait." Kaolla snorted.

"Kaolla!" Amara pleaded, making doe-eyes at her step-daughter. "We could do him together..." she suggested once she noticed that her eyes had no effect. "I've got lots of experience, I could be of great assistance to the two of you."

"I'll take it under consideration, but in the meantime, I'd appreciate it very much if you could get your greedy paws off my husband!" Kaolla snapped and Amara withdrew her hand with a hurt expression, tears starting to appear in the corner of her eyes as she shrunk back away from Kaolla.

"Sniff. Don't sniff don't you love sniff me anymore, Kaolla?" she snuffled.

"It's no use crying, Amara-mom." Kaolla sternly rebuked the older woman.

"Please let me do him? Please?" she pleaded.

"Begging is no good either." Kaolla snorted and took another sip from her drink.

She wasn't that opposed to the notion of unleashing Amara upon him, but it was for the best if the other girls never got a reason to even suspect that. Besides, even if she let Amara-mom test drive him, it wouldn't be until she'd gotten a real kiss out of him at the very least. Amara would just have to wait, that was all there was to it!

"You're being awfully quiet today Kitsune. How come?" Kaolla asked, wanting to change the subject.

Kitsune's reaction was not at all what she had expected. Her older friend blushed furiously and looked down at the ground, refusing to look up.

"Kitsune? You okay?" Kaolla asked and the concern in her voice even caused Keitaro to forget his own troubles for a while, as he glanced over at Kitsune with a worried expression on his face.

"Oh, the poor dear has lost her voice. All that screaming on the way over here, no doubt." Amara commented with a smug expression, licking her lips like a satisfied predator.

"I wish you'd stop seducing my friends, Amara-mom." Kaolla sighed, shaking her head in dismay. "And my enemies... And my teachers... And complete strangers..." she added after a few moments to consider her mothers past behaviour.

"Tish-tosh. I need to have something to fill my days, amongst other things, with. Your dad and brother handles all diplomatic matters, Tamawa takes care of all administrative duties and your sister handles the servants. I had to find something to amuse myself with." she replied, her final sentence causing a whole lot of men and women all over the world to suddenly sneeze, wondering just whom was talking about them.

* * *

One of those men that didn't sneeze, was currently fiddling with an etch-a-sketch, carefully making complex patterns with the old toy.

"There!" the Evil Mastermind exclaimed cheerfully. "A masterly plan if I've ever seen one!" he approved of what he had drawn. He carefully put the toy down on top of the table and turned to the henchmen spread out all around it. "Now then. Here's the first stage of my brilliant plan, codename Kidnap Kaolla!"

"Cool. What are we supposed to do?" one of the henchmen inquired.

"Kidnap Princess Kaolla!" the Evil Mastermind revealed and made a sweeping gesture with both his arms.

"Oooohhh..." the henchmen chorused.

Except for one of them.

"Codename: Kidnap Kaolla? Not much of a codename, is it?" he asked, scratching the back of his head.

Kablooom+

"Anyone else want to comment upon my masterly plan?" the Evil Mastermind demanded to know, waving the still smoking Ruger RedHawk revolver around in a threatening manner.

"No." the rest of the henchmen chorused, all of them having well beneath the required intelligence and creativity levels needed to function as henchmen without being shot by their superiors. It was the overly smart ones with a foot-in-mouth syndrome that tended to be killed before ever spotting one of their masters enemies.

* * *

"Oh come on! Cheer up. This isn't so bad, is it?" Kaolla asked as she speared a shrimp on her plate with the fork she had been provided with, transferring the tasty morsel to her mouth with a deft movement. "The food is great, the weather is fine, the music isn't too shabby and the view is excellent!" she gushed.

"Oh, yeah?" Keitaro asked morosely as he manoeuvred the chopsticks he'd asked the waitress for, glancing aside at the table next to them, where Queen Amara and the girls were seated, glaring angrily at him in the case of the girls and glaring enviously at Kaolla in the Queens case. "I feel like a carcass, surrounded by a bunch of starving vultures just waiting to pounce on me." he mumbled, feeling very uncomfortable under the intense scrutiny.

"Just ignore them." Kaolla snorted and gestured at the view of the beach they had through the panoramic windows. "Isn't that just beautiful?"

"Yeah..." Keitaro muttered morosely.

"That was your cue to say 'Not as beautiful as you, my dear.' or something along a similar vein." Kaolla gently rebuked him, a statement which actually managed to get Keitaro to offer her a slight lop-sided smile.

"I'm sorry for being such depressing company, Kaolla. I was hoping to get away from all the chaos for a while, I guess I'm just miffed that it didn't quite work out that way." he admitted.

"Do you want to go back?" Kaolla asked him, raising the shell of an oyster to her lips and sucking down the contents of it.

"Well, I guess we won't get much peace and quiet here, will we?" he asked, glancing over at the other table again.

"Guess not." Kaolla sighed. "Ah well, at least we can go back home once we get all the ceremonial stuff out of the way. I'm starting to miss the Hinata Sou."

"Yeah. Me too." Keitaro admitted, thinking back on how much more simple his life had been before he went to Molmol with Kaolla.

"We'll leave first thing in the morning." Kaolla assured him with a gentle smile.

"I WOULDN'T BE SO SURE OF THAT, PRINCESS!" a waiter suddenly screamed at the top of his lungs, then pulled out a pistol from the sleeve of his uniform.

Kabloom+

The fake waiter fell back, a fountain of blood erupting from his forehead as their bodyguard signalled his intense disapproval of people other then himself bearing arms around the crown princess and her husband.

"Aiiiya!" Keitaro screamed and threw himself across the table towards Kaolla as he saw several other men suddenly brandishing weapons. He enfolded his wife in a protective embrace and slid across the floor with her, as hot lead suddenly whisked through the air all around them. Keitaro hissed as a bullet grazed the back of his neck, but ignored all that in favour of protecting Kaolla.

"Keitaro!" Naru screamed in panic.

"Kaolla!" Sarah screamed in panic.

"Kaolla! Son-in-law!" Amara screamed in panic.

Keitaro ignored all of that as he pulled Kaolla up into his arms and got onto his feet, suddenly finding the bodyguard standing next to him.

"Come with me, your highness." the bodyguard requested, taking out gun-tooting maniac after gun-tooting maniac with some of the sharpest shooting Keitaro had ever witnessed.

Of course, he'd never really seen anyone other then Kaolla fire anything before and she was too enthusiastic to be a really good shot.

But the guard was good, if a bit outmanned. He'd taken out seven of them so far, but he had lost the use of his left arm in return, one bullet having completely shattered his shoulder. There was nothing for it but to grit his teeth and bear the pain however. He did not want to know what Rawan would say or do if he allowed any harm to come to anyone in the royal family under his watch.

Keitaro nodded and started to follow the bodyguard away from the open, sparing a glance over at the other table where he saw that Queen Amara's two bodyguards had started taking out assassins as well, while slowly retreating towards cover with the girls.

"DON'T LET HER GET AWAY!" an irate voice ordered and Keitaro gasped as he saw a metallic object flying in the air towards them.

"Grenade!" the bodyguard screamed and threw himself towards them, tackling Keitaro and Kaolla over a table. The guard rolled after them and yanked the table with him, using that as a primitive cover.

He needn't have bothered however, as all the grenade did when it hit the ground was emit a horrific amount of smoke all over the restaurant.

"Come with me, your highness." the guard repeated through clenched teeth. His shoulder hurt like hell after that bloody stunt, but he had a duty to fulfil and he wouldn't fail. No way in hell, not while he was still capable of drawing breath. Not when the alternative was having to account for his failure in front of a furious Rawan.

Keitaro scrambled up to his feet again, Kaolla trembling against his chest with her arms wrapped around him. While this wasn't the first time there had been an attempt on her life, none of them had ever come this close to succeeding before.

/I'm not afraid. I'm not afraid. I'm not afraid./ Kaolla mentally insisted to herself, gritted her teeth and started taking in their surroundings, analyzing the situation. There was something off about it all and she knew that she should be clever enough to figure out what.

/Ah, yes./ she cheered in her head. Not a single bullet had been fired at her. The fake waiter had been about to aim his weapon at the bodyguard when the guard shot him. Quite a few bullets had struck Keitaro's seat just seconds after he vacated it in order to jump towards her. But not a single bullet had struck her former seat. It hadn't been a real grenade, but a smoke grenade. It wasn't assassins, it was kidnappers!

"There she is! Grab her!" somebody screamed.

"Move it, Prince Su!" the bodyguard ordered as three goons appeared from out of the smoke. The guard shot one of them and shouldered Keitaro aside to get him moving in another direction. "Run. Go somewhere safe." the guard pleaded, before the other two goons fired a shot each at him, causing him to fall back as blood sprayed out from his chest and stomach. "Move it!" he shouted on his way down, as he let a final shot fly at one of the goons, who screamed in pain as his left leg exploded in a cascade of blood.

"No!" Kaolla screamed in anger, denial and grief. Halan had been one of the royal bodyguards since she was five. She had played in the royal garden with his two daughters. He had bandaged her knee when she fell from the tree outside her bedroom window when she was seven.

He was her friend.

Keitaro rushed into the smoke and confusion carrying Kaolla as gunshots could be heard all around them along with screamed orders and panicked outcries.

The End! ( For now... )


	7. Seven

Su Kaolla - With a license to thrill PG-13  
Niklas "Hawk" Jonsson

Summary: The Crimson Moon is about to appear and the time for Kaolla's change is imminent. Amalla remembers about it in time and Kaolla is called back home, to ensure that the foreigners she's living about doesn't find out about her condition. However, Kaolla believes that she might be bored without her usual playmates around and thus arranges for Keitaro to go to Molmol with her, which causes all kinds of havoc!

Disclaimer: Love Hina, Hinata Sou and whatnot are not mine, though I certainly wish they were. The story is mine though, all mine. This story deals with some very unpleasant things. If this disturbs you, don't read.  
If the layout looks screwy or symbols seems to be missing, you're probably reading the quickedit-mangled version of this fic on ff dot net, if it grates on your nerves too much, read it on hawksgalaxy dot com or something.

Feedback/Flames: Yes, please. Both of them are equally fun to read, although I must admit that I greatly prefer the first variety. :)  
I can be found on ICQ as 21771860, MSN Messenger/E-mail as iamhawk at yahoo dot com, though not very frequently as real life lately interferes with my online existance more then I'd like. More stories are available at my nifty lil' site at hawksgalaxy dot com or by clicking on my handle up above.

"speech"  
emphasis/shouts/Kindred Domination/post-hypnotic triggers  
/thoughts/  
/telepathy/  
translation  
+soundeffect/radio/telephone conversation/TV+

Previously, on 'Su Kaolla - With a license to thrill'

"Come with me, your highness." the guard repeated through clenched teeth. His shoulder hurt like hell after that bloody stunt, but he had a duty to fulfil and he wouldn't fail. No way in hell, not while he was still capable of drawing breath. Not when the alternative was having to account for his failure in front of a furious Rawan.

Keitaro scrambled up to his feet again, Kaolla trembling against his chest with her arms wrapped around him. While this wasn't the first time there had been an attempt on her life, none of them had ever come this close to succeeding before.

/I'm not afraid. I'm not afraid. I'm not afraid./ Kaolla mentally insisted to herself, gritted her teeth and started taking in their surroundings, analyzing the situation. There was something off about it all and she knew that she should be clever enough to figure out what.

/Ah, yes./ she cheered in her head. Not a single bullet had been fired at her. The fake waiter had been about to aim his weapon at the bodyguard when the guard shot him. Quite a few bullets had struck Keitaro's seat just seconds after he vacated it in order to jump towards her. But not a single bullet had struck her former seat. It hadn't been a real grenade, but a smoke grenade. It wasn't assassins, it was kidnappers!

"There she is! Grab her!" somebody screamed.

"Move it, Prince Su!" the bodyguard ordered as three goons appeared from out of the smoke. The guard shot one of them and shouldered Keitaro aside to get him moving in another direction. "Run. Go somewhere safe." the guard pleaded, before the other two goons fired a shot each at him, causing him to fall back as blood sprayed out from his chest and stomach. "Move it!" he shouted on his way down, as he let a final shot fly at one of the goons, who screamed in pain as his left leg exploded in a cascade of blood.

"No!" Kaolla screamed in anger, denial and grief. Halan had been one of the royal bodyguards since she was five. She had played in the royal garden with his two daughters. He had bandaged her knee when she fell from the tree outside her bedroom window when she was seven.

He was her friend.

Keitaro rushed into the smoke and confusion carrying Kaolla as gunshots could be heard all around them along with screamed orders and panicked outcries.

Roll credits

* * *

Chapter Seven:

"Kaolla! Son-in-law!" Queen Amara cried out with obvious relief in her voice as Keitaro staggered outside with Kaolla in his arms from one of the two doors on this side of the building, trying to ignore his body's protests as he carried his sobbing newly-minted wife outside. One of her two bodyguards was hovering by his queen's side, while the other changed directions mid-run, apparently having been on the way back inside the restaurant through another entrance.

"Prince Su! Are you all right? Is the Princess okay?" the nearest bodyguard inquired, rushing over towards them and then proceeding to hurry them over towards the Queen, who was dragged around a corner by the second bodyguard now that she was less insistent on trying to get back inside.

"Yes, we're fine." Keitaro hastily replied, then looked around for the rest of the girls, frowning as he failed to spot them. "Where are the others!" he asked, a faint note of panic slipping into his voice as it became increasingly obvious that they weren't there.

"They're still inside. We had to leave them to bring the Queen to safety." the bodyguard replied, then grunted with surprise as Keitaro pushed Kaolla into his arms. "Prince Su!" the bodyguard protested as Keitaro turned around and ran back towards the restaurant.

"Keitaro!" Kaolla protested, struggling to get away from the bodyguard and back to her newly married husband.

"Son-in-law!" Queen Amara shouted.

"I have to get them!" Keitaro shouted and rushed through the door he'd just exited, coughing as he returned to the smoke-covered area. "Haruka! Naru! Motoko! Kitsune! Shinobu! Sarah!" he screamed as he rushed through the smoke-filled room, grunting as he bumped against tables or stumbled over over-turned chairs in his mad dash through the area, heedless of his own safety.

"Keitaro!" he heard a voice calling him and he instantly headed in that direction, cursing as he nearly stumbled over yet another overturned chair. "Keitaro!" the voice repeated and he now recognized it as Aunt Haruka.

"Haruka!" he screamed and paled as he saw her fade into view through the smoke, huddled protectively in a low crouch over an unconscious Shinobu which she had dragged into a corner booth. There were splatters of blood all over Haruka and she held a machinegun unwaveringly in her right hand, despite the nasty bruise forming on her left cheek and a bleeding cut over her left eyebrow. Shinobu had a pale face and her hair was matted with blood. "What happened? Are you all right? What happened to Shinobu?" he demanded as he stopped and bent down to check on Shinobu.

"I'm fine." Haruka calmly replied in a voice devoid of all emotion. "She took a nasty blow to the back of her head and one of those assholes tossed her over his shoulder to be carried off, but I got to him in time." Haruka explained and spat on the floor, her saliva mixed with a small amount of blood which gave it a reddish tinge. "I saw Sarah and Naru being carried off by others, but I didn't dare to leave Shinobu or shoot at them from a distance for fear of hitting the girls." Haruka finished with a grief-stricken look on her face. "I'm sorry, Keitaro." she apologized, stricken over having failed both her nephew and the girls.

"Damn it!" Keitaro cursed and slammed his fist against the ground with a muttered expletive. "What the hell do they want with the girls!" he spat out.

"They were after Kaolla. But I don't think many of them knew what she looked like." Haruka replied and stood up, somewhat unsteadily. "Come on, make yourself useful and pick up Shinobu. We've got to get out of here before they get back." she ordered with a determined expression as she swivelled the firearm around, looking for targets to inflict some righteous anger upon.

Perhaps even some anger that wouldn't be strictly speaking righteous.

Nobody hurt Haruka's friends and went unpunished for it.

Keitaro looked torn over tending to the girl who was there and relatively safe and heading off to look for the girls who were missing. But after a few moments of hesitation, he scooped her up and brought her into his arms, rising as if she didn't weigh more then a breath of air.

Keitaro was nothing if not ignorant of his own limits when it came to protecting his friends.

He strode off towards the exit, with Haruka hovering protectively around him, her eyes scanning the area for threats with a dangerous shimmer in just mentioned eyes that threatened infinite pain for any hostile foolish enough to make an appearance right now.

The two of them emerged outside and Keitaro headed over towards where he had seen the queen being taken, which coincidentally happened to be the direction he could hear Kaolla making angry demands to be let go from, leading him to believe that she was still around.

As the three of them came around the corner of a grey building they could hear an electrical humming inside from, they found the queen, Kaolla and the two surviving bodyguards. Kaolla demanding to be let down by a clearly reluctant and unresponsive bodyguard, who kept the wildly struggling princess in his arms by sheer pigheaded determination as she struggled furiously against him.

"Son-in-law!" Queen Amara cried out as she spotted the three of them. "Are you all right?" she asked, looking over the small group.

"Scrapes and bruises for me, is all." Haruka reported, then looked over at Shinobu. "Possible concussion and what will most likely become a nasty bump for her." she added and then flashed a hasty smile before she grew more serious. "And I doubt any of those idiots were packing anything capable of putting a dent in Keitaro. But they made off with the rest of the girls."

"Keitaro!" Kaolla yelped and slumped in relief in the bodyguard's arms, before she glared angrily at him. "Don't scare me like that, going off on your own!"

"We'll have to deal with that later. Now that we're all here, we should get the hell away from here to somewhere safer." the bodyguard carrying Kaolla ordered.

"Agreed. We should make for the car and get the hell out of here." the second bodyguard agreed as the first put Kaolla down onto the ground. Despite the fact that she was seriously ticked at him right now, she instantly made her way over to Keitaro and attached herself cautiously to his left arm as not to put Shinobu in danger of being dropped, even if she clutched at her husbands arm as if she never intended to let it go now that she'd gotten a hold on it.

"Do you have an embassy or consulate here?" Haruka inquired.

"Here? No. Just the one in New York. We're a tiny nation, remember? We don't have the manpower or the resources for it." the Queen replied with a dismissive snort. "But I know somewhere else we can go, if we can just get to the car in one piece and if it hasn't been meddled with before the assault." she replied, in a far more serious manner then her usual sex-bomb-on-acid-behaviour.

"Saran, you check out the car. We'll wait here." the bodyguard who had carried Kaolla decided and Saran nodded, before he scurried off towards the parking lot.

The remaining five waited for two minutes, then a ford Taurus skidded into a stop next to the building they had taken shelter behind, the passenger side door opening to reveal Saran.

"Come on. I borrowed another car instead of taking chances with the old one." he ordered and the others scurried inside, Queen Amara taking shotgun while Haruka took the left rear window, Kaolla sat in Keitaro's lap with Shinobu in the middle and the remaining bodyguard took the right rear window.

"Where are we heading?" Saran asked as he put the stolen car into gear.

"We're going to visit the local representatives of the Inagawa-Kai." Queen Amara said and pointed to the right, Saran didn't seem to comprehend the gravity of that statement but merely took his Queen's instruction and drove in the direction she indicated.

The native Japanese, namely Keitaro and Haruka understood somewhat better, however.

"We're going to the Yakuza!" Haruka exclaimed in shock.

"Safest place to be at the moment as we'll probably be highly sought after when the baddies discover that they got the wrong girls." Queen Amara reasoned. "Who'd expect for us to go there? The American military, yes. The police, yes. Back to the hotel, yes. The Yakuza? Hardly." she added with a faint smile. "As far as first ports of calls go, it's a good one. Especially as we may be able to get some more information about whom we're going to extract a pound of flesh or two from for recent events."

"Out of the frying pan and into the bloody inferno..." Haruka muttered, shaking her head in wry dismay, though she didn't voice any additional protests.

* * *

"Where is she? Where is she? Where is my widdle darlin'?" the evil mastermind chanted happily as he approached the tussled up females with black hoods over their heads. He suddenly stopped dead in his tracks and just looked at them, with an expression of growing displeasure on his face.

"That one is too tall and the complexion isn't right at all." he suddenly stated. "Those three are completely wrong as well." he continued and rubbed his temples. "None of them are my darling." he sighed, feeling a headache coming on. "You've kidnapped the wrong girls!" he suddenly wailed and started sobbing, burying his face in his hands.

"There, there. It'll be all right, Eugene." Miss Cashdollar said and awkwardly patted his shoulders.

"Don't call me Eugene, Miss Moolahsterling. I'm Doctor Nefarious." Eugene protested and sniffled, as the collected henchmen struggled to keep from laughing after hearing that their evil boss was named 'Eugene'.

"Eugene Theofilus Saint John, I've known you for twenty years. I will always reserve the right to call you by your given name." Miss Cashdollar responded. "And I really wish that you'd make an effort to remember mine." she added with a tired sigh.

* * *

"Yariman-sama, what a pleasant surprise." Red Kyoske greeted Amara once the little group was led into his presence, after having arrived at a particularly unpleasant-looking shady bar nearly ten minutes drive away from the hotel. "How's tricks?"

"Glad to be alive, just had myself a trip through hell." Queen Amara replied and gestured at the others behind her, as Haruka raised both eyebrows after hearing Amara sprouting perfect Yakuza slang as if she did so on a daily basis. "A doctor would be appreciated, Kyoske-san." she added tiredly and rubbed her left temple.

"Right away." Kyoske replied and gestured at one of his followers, who left the room with a respectful bow. "What happened?"

"A failed kidnapping. They were after my daughter." Amara replied and gestured at Kaolla. "We got away, but they made off with a few of my daughters friends who were in our company."

"Who did it?" he asked intently.

"I'm not sure." Amara replied. "One of them could have been from Molmol, but he was the first one who died. The rest seemed like foreigners. Which is probably a good thing, as none of them seemed to know just who they were looking for, just that it was a teenaged girl."

"I got a couple of wallets." Haruka offered and reached into one of her pockets, pulling out two blood-stained wallets. "And a passport." she added after finding one of just mentioned objects inside of one of the wallets.

"I've got a few public toilets in customs and the police, I'll have them check it out." Kyoske responded, then narrowed his eyes as he observed Haruka. "You seem... Somewhat familiar. Have we met before?" he asked, before his eyes suddenly widened and he jerked back in his seat. "Kiko beceng!" he exclaimed, which caused a few of his followers to look confused and a few older ones look extremely nervous. "Yariman-sama... Why... Who... I assure you, I had nothing to do with this! Nothing! There's no need to bring her here!" he insisted shrilly while appearing as if the thing he wanted most of all at the moment was to crawl into the back of his chair and vanish from Haruka's presence.

"I'm retired, Kyoske-dono." Haruka protested mildly, holding her hands up in a gesture of appeasement. "I dropped out of the game years ago."

"None the less, the streets of Malaysia still cover at the mere mention of Kiko beceng and your reputation has hardly suffered from your long absence." Kyoske breathed, only somewhat calmed down from what appeared to have been the worst shock he'd had in recent years.

"'Kiko beceng'?" Keitaro mumbled, scratching the back of his head in confusion.

"Crazy shooter." Amara replied out of the corner of her mouth, glancing aside at Haruka with a calculating gleam in her eyes. "Your aunt is a notorious gun-for-hire who operated out of Kuala Lumpur six or seven years ago, rumour has it that she's got more then thirty lives on her conscience."

"I've contacted Rawan, your highness. He's sending reinforcements and the Americans have been asked to search the jets with a fine-toothed comb for anything suspicious, just in case." Saran spoke up, putting away his cell phone. "We're to stay put here, until the reinforcements arrive."

"What then?" Amara asked.

"Then we're leaving for Molmol as soon as the jets can take us, while the Americans handle the investigation." Saran replied.

"Figured as much..." Amara sighed and looked at Kyoske, then over at Haruka. "Take them down without killing them!" she snapped and lashed out with her right leg, kicking Saran in his groin. Kyoske's eyes widened in shock, but Haruka reacted in time, rushing over and bringing the other bodyguard down with a well executed leg-sweep, followed by a deft kick to the back of his head as he tumbled to the ground, while Amara slammed her right elbow onto the back of Saran's head, knocking him out.

"Yariman-sama... What are you doing?" Kyoske asked as Amara and Haruka tied up the bodyguards, as the rest of the room incredulously looked at the two determined women.

"Mom!" Kaolla exclaimed in astonished protest, her eyes nearly bugging out of their sockets at the unexpected actions of Queen Amara.

"Oh hush, Kaolla. These two bores would have made sure that we were safely locked up in the palace, surrounded by half of the army while the Americans bungle the entire investigation and the bad guys make off with your friends. I guess we have six or seven hours at the most until Rawan's henchmen touch down at the airport, we need to have a good lead before then." Queen Amara replied, then looked over at Haruka. "Can I count on your assistance, Haruka?" she asked.

"Those assholes have the girls. Wild horses couldn't keep me away." Haruka replied with a feral expression.

"Me neither." Keitaro responded unwaveringly, keeping the apprehension he felt under tight wraps. While he'd never condone the actions of Amara and Haruka against the bodyguards, he certainly didn't want to be locked up in safety while only the Kami knew what fate had befallen the missing girls.

"I'm in." Kaolla instantly agreed.

"You people are crazy." Kyoske solemnly announced, then laughed. "What do you need from me, Yariman-sama?" he asked with a wry grin.

"Information, new clothes, a car and your help in dropping these three off at the airport when the jet from Molmol arrives." Amara replied and gestured at the two unconscious bodyguards and Shinobu.

"And ammo. Lots of ammo." Haruka added.

"Electronics and chemicals. I also need to visit a couple of stores where I can get my hands on some tools and other goodies." Kaolla replied, her eyes sparkling angrily as she considered various ways to employ her creative mind against the bastards who had kidnapped her friends. There were plenty of things she had invented over the years that she was itching to test out, things that had been deemed so dangerous by her that she hadn't even dared to use the near-immortal Keitaro to test them on!

"You've got it." Bloody Red Kyoske replied, then laughed again as he got up from his seat. "I'll make the arrangements myself, Yariman-sama." he explained and bowed to Amara, before he picked up the wallets and passport from Haruka. "Don't get caught." he bid them adieu as he left to make a few calls.

"Don't get caught." Amara responded fondly, using the traditional greeting like a true Yakuza.

"Amara-mom... You really need to calm down a bit. When people in other countries start referring to you as slut-sama, it's gotten a bit too far." Kaolla stated with a sigh once Kyoske had left the room.

"Tish-tosh." Amara chuckled as the four of them carried the unconscious Shinobu and the unconscious bodyguards over to a couple of couches, where an underground doctor took a look at them when he arrived a couple of minutes later, as the mixed group waited for the supplies and Intel Kyoske was getting them.

Doctor Nefarious and his dastardly gang would rue the day they invoked the ire of Molmol's royal family and Urashima Haruka.

The End! ( For now... )


End file.
